Question Corner

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D.C. · Jul 23, 1914

“How can we draw the children nearer to us? MRS. F.”

It ought not to be a difficult task if the children referred to are quite young. Such children are usually affectionate; and if the parents manifest sympathy for them in their plans and in their trials, the children will naturally go to the parents when they need help. Ask the children to help you, and then thank them and show them you appreciate their assistance. Parents often wound the tender, sensitive child by ignoring its desires and treating its opinions as worthless. Each child must be studied, and encouraged or repressed according to its needs.

“I have often wondered what are the results of nagging the children. “MRS. T. R.”

I am not surprised that this query has arisen in your mind, for the habit is so common; but it is none the less pernicious because of its commonness. Nagging, like scolding, never does any good, but always harm. A parent should give directions slowly and clearly, and see that they are followed. Much cause of nagging is hasty and careless assignment of duties, without waiting to see if the child clearly understands the requirement or feels the responsibility of performing the task assigned.

Nagging causes the child to grow careless, lose heart, and develop a “don’t care” spirit. He comes to lose confidence in his own ability to give satisfaction. He therefore becomes morose and irresponsible, and ceases to try to please.

Dr. H. Clay Trumbull says: “Over-training is almost worse than no training.” “Don’t be always don’ting, is a bit of counsel to parents that can hardly be emphasized too strongly.” Many parents pay too much attention to small faults, temporary failings, which will disappear of their own accord if the children are kept in an atmosphere of kindness. Gentle firmness will do more to remove these irregularities than all the nagging in a lifetime.