Training in Obedience by Caroline Sherwin Bailey

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Oct 28, 1915

Training in Obedience

By Caroline Sherwin Bailey

To ask ourselves, before saying “don’t” to a little child, whether or not his own moral health or the state of our own nerves is at the root of the matter, will reduce very much the number and character of the commands that we lay upon our little ones. It isn’t morally wrong for a child to be noisy or restless or to interfere with the order of our homes, because it is through this very disordered activity that child muscles develop normally and naturally. But the child should obey immediately when asked to do a kind act or refrain from doing an unkind one.

A small girl of four was taken to visit a relative in whose family there was a beloved old colored servant, Chloe. The first morning of the visit the little girl’s mother said, “Run downstairs, Katherine, and say good morning to Chloe.”

The child looked at her mother a second in wonder, and then firmly said, “I won’t.”

She was, ordinarily, a tractable small maid, and her mother was at a loss to understand the reason for her sudden revolt. She realized that many warring impulses and ideas might have merged, making it difficult for Katherine to obey. She might be afraid of the old colored woman, or embarrassed, or shy. Still, the mother argued, Katherine must overcome these motives, and this might be a crucial point in the little girl’s moral development both in relation to society and to her mother. So she kindly explained to Katherine her reasons for wishing her to greet the old servant, telling of her long service in the family

and her kindness through a generation.

Still the little girl reiterated,—

“I won’t say good morning to Chloe. I can’t; I won’t.”

The mother then told Katherine that she must; first, because it was right, and next, because she must obey. A torrent of tears followed, and the struggle between mother and child lasted an hour. At the end of that time the little maid, smiling through her tears, went downstairs, bade Chloe a courteous good morning, the relief to her own mind in gaining this self-control being as great as that to her mother. She never again showed a similar inclination to disobey, and the struggle marked a milestone in her moral journey.

We must lay few commands upon the little child, but must insist upon obedience where it is right, at no matter what cost of time and thought to ourselves.— Caroline Sherwin Bailey, in American Motherhood.