The Duty of the Father to the Family by MRS. ALFRED SHRYOCK

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Tacoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Jun 22, 1916

The Duty of the Father to the Family

By MRS. ALFRED SHRYOCK

MRS. ALFRED SHRYOCK

In the family relationship of father, mother, and children, a relationship in which discipline, love, and obedience are blended, the father must necessarily assume a position of great responsibility.

In Old Testament times, the father was the priest of the household. He was to be an example of faith to his family as he offered up the morning and evening sacrifice. God honored those patriarchs who cultivated home religion, and caused the fear of the Lord to pervade their households.

In New Testament times, the father is still the head of the family, as Christ is the head of the church. By affection and authority combined, he is to rule his house. By precept and example, he is to train his children to be useful members of society, and fit them for the future life.

One may derive much wholesome instruction from the story of the lives of such men as Abraham and Eli, who are types of two kinds of fathers, the faithful and the indulgent.

Abraham’s “household consisted of more than a thousand souls, many of them heads of families, and not a few but newly converted from heathenism. Such a household required a firm hand at the helm. No weak, vacillating methods would suffice.” God saw that Abraham would instruct his children and his household in the principles of God’s law. “I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him,” he said. Yet the authority of the patriarch was exercised with such wisdom and tenderness that hearts were won, and Abraham’s influence extended beyond his own household. “Wherever he pitched his tent, he set up beside it the altar for sacrifice and worship. When the tent was removed, the altar remained; and many a roving Canaanite, whose knowledge of God had been gained from the life of Abraham his servant, tarried at that altar to offer sacrifices to Jehovah.”

Eli, on the other hand, was an indulgent father. “Instead of regarding the education of his sons as one of the most important of his responsibilities, he treated the matter as of little consequence. The priest and judge of Israel had not been left in darkness as to the duty of restraining and governing the children that God had given to his care. But Eli shrank from this duty, because it involved crossing the will of his sons, and would make it necessary to punish and deny them. Without weighing the terrible consequences that would follow his course, he indulged his children in whatever they desired, and neglected the work of fitting them for the service of God and the duties of life.”

The curse of God soon followed. As the result of Eli’s course, his wicked sons were slain in battle, with thirty thousand of Israel, and the ark of God was taken by their enemies. When the aged priest heard of it, he fell backward and died. All this evil resulted from his neglect to restrain his sons. If God was so particular as to notice and visit punishment for such things anciently, will he be less particular in these last days?

The father is the provider for his family. Of course he regards it as a duty to provide a cheerful, comfortable home, and a wholesome and nutritious diet, as well as means for the proper clothing and education of his family. This duty, however, is not inconsistent with the other duty of spending some time with his family each day, instructing them in right habits and principles of living.

The father is the lawmaker, and should enforce in his family the sterner virtues, — energy, integrity, honesty, patience, courage, diligence, and practical usefulness. What he requires of his children, he himself should practice, illustrating these virtues in his own daily life. But fathers should not discourage their children. “Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.” “Combine affection with authority, kindness and sympathy with firm restraint. Give some of your leisure hours to your children.” But one may say, “I am busy all the time and have no leisure hours.” Consider this statement from Volume II, page 85, of the Testimonies: “Your first and most sacred duty is to your family. They should not be robbed for others to be favored. Let your benevolence, your liberality, be seen in your own family.” Again (“Counsels to Teachers,” page 127): “The father should not become so absorbed in business life or in the study of books, that he cannot take time to study the natures and necessities of his children;” he should always be ready to give some of his leisure hours to his children; become acquainted with them; associate with them in their work and in their sports, and win their confidence.

“Cultivate friendship with your children,” says one authority, “especially with your sons.” “The father of boys should come into close contact with his sons, giving them the benefit of his larger experience, and talking with them in such simplicity and tenderness that he binds them to his heart. He should let them see that he has their best interests, their happiness, in view all the time. As the priest of the household, he is accountable to God for the influence that he exerts over every member of the family.”—“Counsels to Teachers,” p. 128.

“The husband should manifest great interest in his family. Especially should he be very tender of the feelings of a feeble wife. . . . The husband should remember that much of the burden of training his children rests upon the mother. . . . This should call into exercise his tenderest feelings, and with care should he lighten her burdens. He should encourage her to lean upon his large affections, and direct her mind to heaven, where there is strength and peace, and a final rest for the weary. He should not come to his home with a clouded brow, but should with his presence bring sunlight into the family.”—“Testimonies for the Church,” Vol. I, pp. 306, 307. The father should by faith in God lift up a standard against Satan. “Before leaving the house for labor, all the family should be called together, and the father, or the mother in the father’s absence, should plead fervently with God to keep them through the day. . . . It is the duty of Christian parents, morning and evening, by earnest prayer and persevering faith, to make a hedge about their children.”—Id., pp. 307, 308.

After all, this life is simply a preparation for the life to come; and if parents fail to prepare themselves and their children for the eternal life, what have they gained? It is evident that by doing our duty faithfully, we with our children are sure of a home in the kingdom of God; but unfaithfulness in fathers may call forth the following sentence, quoted from Volume IV of the Testimonies, p. 48: “If your children fail of everlasting life, the blood of their souls will surely be found on the garments of their father.” Loma Linda, Cal.