Teaching Untruthfulness by Mrs. Carrie R. Moon

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Mar 18, 1915

Teaching Untruthfulness

By Mrs. Carrie R. Moon

MRS. CARRIE R. MOON

By a little child the word of father and mother is accepted as absolute truth that admits of no question or doubt. Perhaps all have heard of the child whose final word in an argument concerning the truth of a certain point was, “Mamma says it’s so, and when mamma says it’s so, it’s so.”

Why is it that this beautiful faith in mamma’s word is so often lost as the child grows to a reasoning age? Is it entirely the fault of the child? or may we find the reason elsewhere? A few instances of actual observation may throw some light upon the question.

A young mother—one who believed herself to be a truthful, Christian woman—told me how she managed her little girl. She lived on a street where automobiles and other vehicles, including heavy trucks, were passing very frequently. She said: “I cannot be there to watch her all the time, and I am so afraid she will go out on the street and get killed, that I tell her there is a big black man that carries off the children that go out there. I hate to lie to her, but I just have to for her own safety.”

Another woman resorted to a similar method to keep her baby from falling down the cellar stairs. She told the child there was a big black bear in the cellar, thus instilling in his heart a terrible fear of the cellar. Later this same mother had reason to weep over her mistake. The little fellow began to wonder why the bear did not harm his mother when she went to the cellar. One day he stealthily followed her into the cellar. After looking around for a moment, he indignantly exclaimed: “You said there was a big black bear down here. You told me a lie!” That boy’s strongest protection against temptation and sin—faith in his mother—was gone forever.

While sitting in a railroad station not long ago, I had good opportunity to study human nature. Among those who were also waiting for a delayed train were two women, mother and daughter, with the daughter’s child, who was just old enough to run around. The little one was restless, and being of an investigative turn of mind, she wanted to know all about what was going on in the large outer room. Again and again the mother went after her and brought her back to the little room, which was so lacking in attractions to the baby mind, all the time assuring her that the big policeman who was out there was just waiting to grab little children and carry them off. This warning seemed not to have the slightest effect upon the little one, and the two women and others actually laughed as they remarked, “It does not seem to frighten her much.” I could not help remarking, “No, children very soon learn whether or not you are telling them the truth.”

Some parents seem to know no better way to govern their children than by constant threatening. It is not uncommon to hear such expressions as, “I’ll whip you till you can’t stand up!” “I’ll skin you alive if you do that again!” A mother of my acquaintance heard her little boy using a profane word. The child had heard some older person using the language, and very likely he did not know its meaning. Instead of taking the little fellow in her arms and carefully instructing him concerning the sin of using such words, she exclaimed: “If I ever hear you say such a thing again, I’ll cut your tongue right out of your head.” The child had ignorantly broken one of the commandments; the mother had willfully broken another, besides frightening and shocking the sensitive feelings of her child, and causing him to lose faith in her. Although these instances are extreme cases, yet in many families there is a constant threatening of punishment that is soon forgotten by the irate parent. In fact, it really means nothing when the threat is made, and the children soon learn this.

Insincerity in social life, or what some regard as necessary politeness, has often caused trusting children to look at mamma in shocked surprise, and soon to decide that truthfulness is not an essential stone to place in character building. When mamma expresses regret at the approach of some tiresome visitor, and then assures the visitor that she is so glad to see her, urges her to stay longer and to call again soon, what can be the impression made upon the sincere mind of the listening child?

While I was calling at the home of an acquaintance, the landlord came to collect the rent, which was overdue. The mother met him at the door with the statement that she hadn’t a cent in the house, and he would have to come next week. As soon as he was gone, she turned to me and said, in the presence of her children, “I have to lie to him sometimes. I have the money, but I want to use it for something else.” Not long after this she sent her boy to the grocery to do an errand. He wanted some money to go to the moving picture show that afternoon, so he “had to lie” to his mother about the price of the goods that he bought. Whose was the fault?

A few weeks ago I heard a mother bemoaning the fact that her children did not believe in Santa Claus any more, and she did not know how to make a happy Christmas for them. It reminded me of a sad story that a young man told to his friend who was urging him to accept Christ as his Saviour. He said: “When I was a little boy, I believed in Jesus Christ. I also believed in Santa Claus. When I learned that my mother had been telling me falsehoods about Santa Claus, I thought the stories about Jesus belonged in the same bunch. Then and there my faith was shattered, and it has never been restored.”

Overseverity upon the part of parents sometimes almost drives timid children to falsehood in an attempt to save themselves from severe punishment for some misdemeanor or accident. The awful fear of the stern parent chills the love and confidence that should exist in the heart of the child, and he dares not tell the truth.

O, how our hearts go out in pity to the child who fears to come to father or mother and tell all his troubles, all his faults and mistakes, knowing that he will find ready sympathy, love, and counsel! Parents should enter into every joy and sorrow of their children. Home should be the sure refuge, and father and mother the trusted confidants and counselors. The greatest treasure a mother can have is the confidence of her children. Through this faith in her, she can hold her dear ones back from the paths of sin, throwing around them a cord of love that nothing can sever. But when once this confidence is lost, it is probably gone forever. It can never be restored in the same degree as before. How important it is that parents realize the blessed responsibility that comes to

them with their children, and that they cherish most sacredly the loving confidence that God places in the heart of every little child.

Boston, Mass.