Our Words and Deportment by F. M. W.

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Dec 23, 1915

Our Words and Deportment

By F. M. W.

CHRIST'S representatives, above all others, should be examples in correct speech and proper deportment. For they are judged quite as much by these things as by the truths they teach. The whole course of life has its influence. The dress, the look of the eye, the expression of the face, the carriage of the body, all play their part in exerting a favorable or an unfavorable impression. The gentle voice, the loving look, the manly tread, produce the more favorable impression. From the opposite, the sensitive nature at once recoils.

In the world two extremes are witnessed: one, an overdoing of social relations and courtesies so that the hypocrisy and superficiality prompting the same are plainly evident; the other, a disregard of all forms of propriety so that offensive brusqueness pervades both speech and action. In the former those outward courtesies and forms which govern social intercourse become hollow mockery and meaningless ceremony, because needlessly profuse, and in the latter their entire absence leads to misunderstanding and offense. Both these extremes should be avoided. The style of roughly demanding, instead of kindly asking, favors is scarcely more obnoxious than the making of a request with so much ceremonialism and affectation as to appear ridiculous and insincere. The plain, ordinary, everyday man does not wish to be treated as a prince, nor yet as a slave, but desires to receive that respectful and courteous treatment from his fellows which is his due, and which he is willing to render in return.

It does not become necessary to address our neighbor as “My dear Mr. Jones,” with special accent on the second word, nor to speak of Mr. Smith as “The Right Reverend Bishop Smith, D. D., LL. D.” On the other hand, good breeding and due respect forbid that we should speak of or address them as “Smith” and “Jones,” without any prefix. While it is not always necessary for the husband to address the wife as “Mrs. Brown” in the quiet confines of the home circle, it is far more distasteful to the cultivated ear to hear her spoken of or addressed before strangers as “Polly Ann” or “Betsy Jane.” Close friends in private conversation may address each other by familiar names, but good breeding dictates more formal address on public occasions or in the presence of strangers. To hear a man speak of his wife as “the old woman,” or by the familiar name which should be counted sacred to the use of relatives and friends, lowers him at once in the respect of his fellows. Hence, while the common as well as the superficial should be avoided, there are certain forms governing social relations which all should understand and wisely conform to.

No less importance attaches to the words employed than to the construction into which those words are formed. Slang will have no more place in the vocabulary of the truly cultivated man than will words of profanity. Provincialisms and colloquialisms should likewise be avoided. Pure language, that employed by the best writers and speakers, that of which the Word of God itself is such a noble example, should make up the speech of every worker in our ranks. The Bible furnishes the finest examples to be found in the literature of the world, of nobility of sentiment and purity of style. The grandest truths are so simply expressed that they may be grasped by the weakest intellect.

The extensive use of big words is unnecessary. Indeed, the smallest words which can be employed correctly to convey the thought are the most forcible in impressing those who listen. The power of expression is not in that it may be understood, but in that it must be understood, when the listener cannot escape the intent of the words nor misinterpret their meaning. As examples of beautiful simplicity, observe the Sermon on the Mount, the parable of the sower, the sermon of Peter on the day of Pentecost, and scores of other examples which might be cited in the Sacred Writings.

But a knowledge of how to speak and write correctly cannot be attained in a day. It is dependent upon knowledge,—knowledge obtained either from books or from observation, or from both. Hence it is necessary for all to be close students both of books and of human nature, studying by the wisdom that God will give, to know how to say the right things and do the right things in the right place.

The exercise of correct speech and proper deportment must come from within, and cannot be put on from without. The practiced “confidence man” may talk with smooth and oily speech, or the wily dealer may bow, and smile, and flatter, but the insincerity of these outward forms is at once evident. One desires our money; the other, our trade. There is a difference between diplomacy and diplomatic forms, and true politeness. One is the power of the scheming politician; the other, the outward exercise of unfeigned kindness. True courtesy must come from the heart. Then it will be but the exercise of naturalness. The individual will be himself, and not an assumed character. Christ, not man, is the only true model. Studying his life, his words, his works, with the use of the wisdom he will give, we may be able rightly to represent him in our words and our deportment. F. M. W.