Farmer B. and His Hen

The Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Jul 2, 1867

Farmer B. and His Hen.

An exchange gives the following amusing account of the way a farmer was taught how cheaply he could take the paper. The lesson is worth consideration.

“‘You have hens at home of course. Well I will send you my paper for one year for the products of a single hen for one season, and the proceeds. It seems trifling, preposterous, to imagine the products of a single hen will pay a subscription; perhaps it wont pay, but I make the offer.’

“‘Done,’ exclaimed farmer B., ‘I agree to it;’ and appealed to me as a witness of the affair.

“‘The farmer went off apparently much elated with his conquest; the editor went on his way rejoicing.’

“‘Time rolled on; the world revolved on its axis, and the sun moved in its orbit as it formerly did; the farmer received his paper regularly, and regaled himself with the information from it, and said he was surprised at the progress of himself and family in general information.

“Some time in the month of September, I happened to be up again in the office, when who should enter but our friend, farmer B.

“‘How do you do, Mr. B?’ said the editor extending his hand, his countenance lit up with a bland smile. “‘Take a chair and be seated; fine weather we have.’

“‘Yes sir, quite fine indeed,’ he answered; and then a short silence ensued, during which our friend B. hitched his chair backward and forward, twirled his thumbs abstractly, and spit profusely. Starting up quickly, he said, addressing the editor, ‘I have brought you the proceeds of that hen.’

“It was amusing to see the peculiar expression of the editor, as he followed the farmer down to the wagon. I could hardly keep my risibles down.

“When at the wagon the farmer commenced handing over to the editor the products, amounting to eighteen pullets, worth twelve and a half cents each, and a number of dozen of eggs; making in the aggregate, at the least calculation, one dollar and fifty cents more than the price of the paper.

“‘No need,’ said he, ‘of men not taking a family newspaper, and paying for it too. I don’t miss this from my roost, yet I have paid for a year’s subscription and over.’

“‘But,’ said the editor, ‘I will pay you for what is over the subscription; I did not intend this as a means of profit, but rather to convince you. I will pay—

“‘Not a bit of it, sir; a bargain is a bargain, and I am already paid, sir—doubly paid, sir. And whenever a neighbor makes the complaint I did, I will relate to him the hen story. Good day.’” —Independent.