Untitled article by Mrs. A. F. Stansell

The Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Third-day, March 3, 1868

FromReview and Herald, Vol. XXXI, No. 12

From Sister Stansell.

By Mrs. A. F. Stansell

DEAR BRETHREN AND SISTERS: It is a long time since I have availed myself of the great privilege of contributing my mite to the letter department of the Review; but I would like to have my brethren and sisters know that I still love the Lord, and am trying to obey his commandments. I have sought to excuse myself from writing, from feelings of unworthiness, ill health, &c.; but for fear it is a plot of the enemy to keep me from duty, I waive everything, and try to tell something of my experience, praying that by the blessing of God it may encourage some.

In the fall of 1864, I commenced to keep the Sabbath of the Lord, according to the commandment. I was greatly blessed by so doing, and have never regretted taking a stand with the people of God. I have ever felt grateful to my blessed Saviour for calling upon me, and as it were, snatching me from evil influences which seemed closing around me. The Lord was pleased to give me much faith and strength, and blessings in abundance. I felt rich, and thought I could meet with Christian fortitude the trials of life. But after struggling along for two or three years, and when earth held to my lips the bitterest cup, a wife and mother can know, and meeting the enemy upon every side, although I had not forgotten where to go for strength and help, yet somewhere, and somehow, fear crept in, and like Peter I found myself sinking. With dismay did I discover the distance widening between myself and my God. I felt I had lost his favor, and his face was turned from me. I got no blessing and felt forsaken by everybody. I asked myself, What does this mean? The Lord has blessed me much in times past, oh, very much! If I am not blessed now it must be my fault. I tried to see where I had made crooked paths. I knew I was not perfect, but I strove a long time to discover wherein I had caused so much divine displeasure, and why I was left alone, thus to struggle with great afflictions. I said, Well I cannot see what the trouble is with my natural eyes, surely, but Lord grant that I may have the eye-salve. Oh! I beseech thee, show me myself as thou seest me. I know that thou hast not forsaken me, but it is I that have forsaken thee. Have mercy, Lord, and remove thy frown far from me, or I am lost, lost. I know I am all unworthy of thy notice, but hast thou not said that “there should not a sparrow fall to the ground without thee.” In the name of Jesus I plead. Hear me; for I will not cease until thou shalt show me myself as thou seest me.

The Lord granted my prayer, I believe, for dark spots began to loom up before me, not a few, and seemingly real sins came trooping along one after another, and I was astonished; I was frightened, ashamed. Things that I had deemed but errors, faults perhaps, now looked black and enormous, and I had dared to wonder why I was not blessed with these sins all uncancelled. Now I wondered why the Lord had dealt so graciously with me, and why he had not stricken me from existence for my ingratitude and weakness in complaining of earth's trials and afflictions, for my lack of faith and trust, after I had, in times past, been so signally blessed; for, my dear friends, I could tell you how God has blessed me. But how weak and unworthy we are in ourselves. When I think of the joys and triumphs of Heaven so freely offered to the overcomer, and of the sufferings of our dear Saviour, I want to hide myself from him for very shame. But the Lord has been merciful to me, and I feel to humble myself in the dust before him, and thank him for his great love to unworthy me. I do want to make a complete sacrifice; lay all upon the altar. I believe I can now joyfully say, Strip me of all, O Lord, and yet will I take up the thread of life, naked, poor, despised and forsaken by all but thee, and struggle on to the blessed end which we all know is so gloriously near. Thank the Lord! Then will I see thee as thou art, my Deliverer and King. Is it not comforting to know that if faithful we shall so soon be released? To overcome the world with all its bitterness and gall, is worth nothing in comparison with the riches and joys of Heaven. I desire to be faithful and have on the whole armor; for in these days we must stand firmly for the Lord.

I commenced to read the Bible through about five months ago, and have been much blessed. Oh! who could be an infidel, or believe the Bible not inspired, after reading it in its connections? We have never had any preaching at this place, but look forward to that time with cheerful hope, while our prayer is that God will raise up more laborers for his vineyard.

I love the Review, and have been greatly cheered by the testimonies of brethren and sisters. May we all heed the last message of warning, and so be ready to meet our Saviour. MRS. A. F. STANSELL. Kent Co., Mich.