Training the Little Ones.
By Nellie Burns
Some time since, as I stood with other waiting customers in a dry-goods store, a fashionably dressed lady entered, accompanied by a fair, flaxen-haired little girl of about five years of age. They had just left a confectioner's stand, and as the result of her purchase the mother carried in her hand a paper of candy. As they approached the place where I was standing, I heard the child teasing for the candy. The mother refused to give it to her, and her rather mild teasing assumed the form of a half crying command, and upon being reproached in an impatient tone by the mother, and again refused, she threw herself at full length upon the floor, and indulged in such a series of kickings and screamings as to attract the attention of everyone in the store. The mortified mother hastily assured the child that if she would get up, and be a good girl, she would give her the candy; upon which assurance the little victor arose, and after securing her prize, looked around on her spectators with the smile and air of one who had conquered. On the faces of those who had witnessed the scene there was an amused expression, but to me there was nothing in the sight to produce a smile. Such an outburst of temper, and such a conquest on the part of that little girl had a deeper significance than was at first apparent to those witnesses. When I thought how ignorant she was of what was right and wrong, and how dependent was her conduct on the teaching she received, I knew she was not to blame for this act. If her mother had taught her no lessons of obedience, and she had been allowed to indulge in such conduct at home, it made but little difference to her as to the time and place of giving vent to her enraged feeling. So, instead of reproaching her for being guilty of this most repulsive act, I pitied her for being the victim of so wretched and ruinous a form of parental government. If, in the short space of her young life, the discipline she had received had been productive of such bad behavior, there could be no doubt that it would in time destroy all the natural goodness in the child's nature. My thoughts then turned to the future, the time she would so much need that strength of character which is the result of good training. With neither patience nor self-government, how ill-prepared she would be to battle with the trials and temptations that would come to her life. And yet, how could she possess such qualities of mind if there were no thought given to her training by those who had the care and control of her life in their keeping? I then thought of the mother. How faultless in her attire, and how pleasing in her address to strangers! Could it be that the mortification which she suffered at the conduct of her child was the worst feature of the affair to her mind? Did she not understand the meaning of the word that defined her position to the little one—that of mother? The very name suggests the duties that she owed to her child—the duty of guarding the susceptible young mind from all influence of a corrupting nature; of teaching her lessons of obedience, patience, unselfishness, and the beauty of governing her temper. When her child was first able to understand, if she had commenced the training of the young mind with a discipline adapted to the baby comprehension, and patiently, kindly but firmly persevered in her work, there would have been no such ill behavior on the part of the little one as was manifested on this occasion. From my own experience in dealing with children, I know they very soon learn if they are to govern or be governed. And as gratifying to their wishes is the only thought by which they are guided, they become the severest little tyrants if there is no restraint on their actions. This subject of commencing aright the training of our children is one of too much importance to be treated with indifference by parents. The standard of principles impressed on the child's mind greatly influences its actions in after life; and it not only affects the happiness of individuals and families, but our nation's prosperity is also involved. For these little ones who gather around our firesides and look to us for protection and guidance will some day assume control of public trusts and responsibilities, and their strength to perform well their duty, and resist evil temptations will depend much on the status of honor and principles received when a child. We have heard mothers bemoan the waywardness of their children, and the unhappiness brought to their own lives in consequence; and yet these same mothers, when their children were small, did not consider them of sufficient importance to be willing to give much time or thought to their training. They considered their duty as fully done when they had supplied their physical needs, and the little ones were left to seek the companionship and employment that best suited their tastes. In a distant city, in which I lived several years ago, a young man lay in prison awaiting the day of his execution, that would cut short his life, while yet so young. A few doors from where I resided, his father and mother lived, and although but a little past middle life their bent forms and haggard faces gave them the appearance of being much older. Go with me back to this young man's childhood, and I will give you his history as it was given to me by those who had always known him. His father was a prominent business man, and so engrossed was he in the art of making money that little of his thoughts were given to the training of this boy, who was their only child. The mother was a devotee of fashions and amusements, and spent her time and energy in winning the admiration of the outside world, while but little of her life was given to the interests of her home and family. She secured the services of a woman who gave her child all necessary care until he was three years of age, so that her life of gayety flowed on uninterrupted. Every comfort and luxury that wealth could furnish was supplied the little one, and as there was no restraint on his actions, and no parental government to guide his young life, he soon became a veritable little tyrant. His parents were from home most of the time, and as he tired of the society of the servants, he sought for other companionship on the street, and being bright and active, he proved an apt scholar to the corrupt teachings of his new associates. As soon as he was old enough, he entered school, and as he had known no submission or discipline at home, he was a source of great trouble to his teachers; and after attending for several years, so annoying did his conduct become that he was threatened with expulsion if he did not improve in his behavior. After hearing of numerous complaints of their boy, the parents seemed to realize for the first time that perhaps they had not given as much thought to his training as they should have done, and decided to make amends by being stricter in their control over him for the future. But no; the time when they should have gained control over him was past. There had been a time when his tender mind would have yielded to their teachings; but so strong was the fascination now of evil influences around him that it was in vain they urged him to lead a different life. As year succeeded year his conduct grew worse, and when he reached his young manhood so dissolute had his habits become that he was an object of reproach by all who knew him. His parents were willing enough now to give some time that they might turn him from his wicked course. They plead, coaxed, hired, and did everything in their power to influence him; but it was of no avail. He seemed to have lost all love and respect for them, while, on their part, they never knew the strength of their affection for their child until they saw him in such great danger. It was on an occasion when he had been drinking a good deal, that in a fit of ungoverned temper he took the life of a worthy young man. It is useless to attempt a description of the misery that was caused by this act. The murdered man had parted from parents and sisters as usual one morning, and in a few hours he was carried home to them a corpse, while over the lives of the murderer's parents there settled a darkness which was blacker than that of the grave, and which wealth, power, and social pleasures were powerless to remove. Ah, the misery that was pictured in the mother's face can never be described, and the father's bent form and despairing look were pitiful to behold! Their son was tried, condemned to die, and in a few months paid the penalty of his crime on the gallows. Can it be possible that this was the little prattler that once brightened their home, and whose life seemed so innocent and harmless that no training was considered necessary to guard him against evil? His mother had doubtless looked forward to the time when he would be the source of much pleasure to their lives, and an ornament to their home and society; but she did not realize until it was too late, that for him to possess so desirable a character required work and sacrifices on her part; the work of constantly guarding the young mind from evil influences, and of inculcating right principles therein, and the sacrifice of yielding up the pleasures of her life when they conflict with her duty in training him. Let me say to the mothers: If you would have your children grow up to a noble manhood and womanhood, an honor to society, and a blessing to your declining years, there is a great work for you to do. It is a work, too, that has its season; and if the time passes by with it unperformed, your whole after life may be spent in regrets of your negligence and thoughtlessness in performing this duty.—Nellie Burns, in Christian Union.