The Wife as a Home Maker by Mrs. M. C. Du Bois

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Jun 6, 1907

The Wife as a Home Maker

By Mrs. M. C. Du Bois

“Homes,” says a writer, “are the springs among the hills, whose many streamlets form, like great rivers, society, the community, the nation, the church. If the springs run low, the river wastes; if they pour out bounteous currents, the rivers are full. Homes are divinely ordained.”

One person alone can not make a home what it ought to be. Each member of the family, the husband, the wife, the son, the daughter, must have a part in the home making. As in music when all the parts are combined we have perfect harmony, but if one part fails the harmony is broken and the effect destroyed, so in the home life. When each is faithful, doing his allotted part lovingly, the harmony is sweet and sacred; but if any member fails in love or duty, the harmony is marred. I will endeavor, from a Bible standpoint, to speak of the wife’s part in making a happy home.

When a good and noble man chooses from among his acquaintances one to be his wife, he raises her to a position of honor, of dignity. She is now a queen, over a small realm to be sure, but a queen, nevertheless. In her hand is placed a scepter of power, which she will wield for good or ill. Destinies most sacred are now trusted to her keeping. Will she prove faithful to the trust reposed in her? Will her realm be a peaceful one, or will anarchy prevail?

No woman should marry without asking herself a few heart-searching questions. Does she truly love the one who asks her to go with him to the marriage altar? Can she be a true wife, a real blessing to him who would lift her to his heart throne? Can and will she be true to him “through better or worse”? Can she cherish and comfort him until death severs the tie? These are a few of the questions every woman should put to her inmost soul before she consents to become a wife.

The relation existing between husband and wife is the most sacred of all earthly relations. Love is the first essential in this relation, and faithfulness is one of the chiefest of wifely duties. By love and faithfulness she may make her husband’s life purer, stronger, grander, and she who fails here fails in one of the most important duties of life.

Remember, dear reader, I am writing of the home as God would have it be, as he intended it should be, not as it really exists to-day or has existed since the purity of the Eden home was lost. There are few if any ideal homes in the world at the present time; but few husbands and wives who measure up to the standard of the Word of God. Sad, sad indeed it is that so many homes are darkened by sin that should be heavens of peace and joy in this sin-cursed earth.

The Bible portrays the model wife. You will find her sketched in Proverbs 31. She is here set before us with all the virtues needful for her exalted station. ‘The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.’ ‘Her price is far above rubies.’ Prov. 31 : 11, 12, 10. ‘She is a crown to her husband.’ Prov. 12:4.

The virtuous woman is set forth as her husband’s gem of many virtues. She is the guardian of his interests, her economy is his safe steward; for she will make his interests her own, and will exercise economy and carefulness in the family expenditure. From her lips sweet words of counsel and encouragement should fall, and her prayers should daily ascend for heaven’s blessings upon him.

There is need of solid foundation upon which to build the home structure; that foundation I will call good housekeeping. The lover may exist upon smiles and caresses, but the husband desires more substantial food, in the shape of good bread and other well-cooked viands. Every girl before she marries, ought, as she values the love and respect of her husband, to be able to cook a good plain meal, and to arrange it upon the table in a neat, inviting manner. The art of making good bread, from both bolted and unbolted flour, should be mastered by every woman before she becomes a wife. The husband fed upon griddle-cakes, sour bread, and poorly cooked, highly seasoned food is liable to partake of the nature of the food he eats; and when day after day he goes home to an untidy, disorderly house, where only fretting and complaining greet his ear, is it any wonder that he turns from such a home to seek scenes more cheerful? A woman’s best and grandest energies should center in her home. This field should be the first to be cultivated, before going very far to help others. Be faithful in the home duties first; then reach out the helping hand to others.

Woman has her divinely appointed work, her place to fill in God’s plan; and one of her divinely appointed offices is that of motherhood. But motherhood should never be forced upon any woman without her consent. She should have the privilege of deciding for herself. No true husband will go contrary to the mind of the wife in this matter. Many women are not physically able to become mothers, and should not be compelled to.

In Eph. 5:22-24 we read these words: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. . . . Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” Again: “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.” “Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.” Col. 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1, 6. Let no husband conclude that in these divine commands there is the least license granted him to be tyrannical or unjust. The wife is only to submit as is fit in the Lord. The husband who fills his part of the divine command, and loves his wife as his own body, yea, even as Christ loved the church, giving himself for it, will ask nothing of his wife but what is right, nothing to which she will not be willing to yield cheerful obedience. If the husband first fails in fulfilling his part, ought he to expect more of his wife than of himself?

Certainly the marriage relation, when both husband and wife are faithful to all the commands of God, is a most happy state. That much depends upon the wife and mother I freely admit. I think I may truthfully say she is the home maker; for if she is a sweet, patient woman, it is her presence which makes the home. The space within the walls of the dwelling you inhabit, does not of itself make a home. Home, whether the palace of the millionaire or the cottage of the poor man, is made by the sweet spirit of love and contentment

that dwells there. Where these elements exist, with the love of God in the heart, there you will find the true home.

Let no wife who reads these lines look upon her home duties as of little account, but rather let her look to God for strength to be a more faithful wife, a more patient, tender mother. May no mother belittle the work of home making; rather let her realize the greatness of her work, and that from her home is going out an influence far-reaching for good or ill. Satan is seeking in these last days to demoralize the homes, and to make wives and mothers dissatisfied and restless, forgetful of the sacredness of their duties. May God help every wife and mother to seek to do her home work “as unto the Lord,” to feel the sacredness of the mother’s calling.—Mrs. M. C. Du Bois.