Religion in the Home Life by M. E. KERN

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Nov 2, 1916

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 93, No. 54.

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Religion in the Home Life

By M. E. KERN

(Reading for Wednesday, December 6)

Religion in the Home Life

M. E. KERN

Importance of the Home

“In all that pertains to the success of God’s work, the very first victories are to be won in the home life.”—“Testimonies for the Church,” Vol. VI, p. 354.

The greatest strength of the church does not consist in its impregnable doctrines, in its excellent organization, nor in the fact that we know what will be the final outcome of the world’s present strife and turmoil. The greatest strength of the church consists in the genuine virtues and graces that appear within the family circle, indicating a preparation of heart to meet the coming issues, and showing to the world that we are preparing for the coming of the Lord. After all, the world is more impressed by what the church lives than by what the ministry preaches. And the church is judged by the influences that flow from its central fountain—the home.

The home is the most important institution in the world, because it has more to do with the formation of character than all other influences. It is the real university in which men and women are trained for life. “To the lack of right home training may be traced the larger share of the disease and misery and crime that curse humanity.”—“Ministry of Healing,” p. 351. On the other hand, the strong influences for righteousness that have blessed the world and carried on unrelenting warfare against evil, have come largely from well-disciplined Christian homes. Many a man and woman has been kept true to principle in the conflicts of life by the influences of a godly home.

“O precious voice of the fireside! Sweet spirit of calm and cheer! Though the wild wind roars o’er the pathless wastes, What matter, so thou art near? Thy voice ne’er stills, though the years go on, When the patter of falling rain Drips from the eaves and trembles the leaves And rattles the windowpane. Holy and sacred the voice of home, It steals to our hearts again.”

Home Life a Test of Religious Experience

A little girl who was asked what it meant to be a Christian, replied: “For me to be a Christian is to live as Jesus would live and behave as Jesus would behave if he were a little girl and lived at our house.”

Perhaps no better definition of practical Christianity could be given. It is comparatively easy to be a regular attendant at church and Sabbath school, take part in devotional meetings, and yet utterly fail in the daily routine of home life. The real test of the genuineness of our religion is in the home, where we constantly have experiences that vex and annoy us, and where it is not considered necessary to keep our inner thoughts and feelings hidden.

Husband and Wife

The key to a happy Christian home is love—unselfish love between husband and wife, between parents and children. In “Ministry of Healing,” pages 360, 361, we read: “Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbor the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment. Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. . . .”

“Neither the husband nor the wife should attempt to exercise over the other an arbitrary control. Do not try to compel each other to yield to your wishes. You cannot do this and retain each other’s love. Be kind, patient, and forbearing, considerate, and courteous. By the grace of God you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage vow you promised to do.”

In the sunny days of courtship many imagine that nothing can ever mar their love and happiness as they travel down life’s road together. But cares, perplexities, and disappointments come, and they find that something more than human power is required to enable them always to keep sweet tempered and manifest that tender regard and mutual forbearance which at first seemed so natural. It is easy to lose self-control in the free atmosphere of home, and to think that it does not matter. We have “careful thought for the stranger,” but often “for our own the bitter tone.” Even when no cross words are spoken, there is frequently a great lack of endearing expressions, compliments, and even the simplest courtesies which do so much to make life worth living. We should, by the grace of God, always be at our best among those we love the most.

A little boy came running in from his play and said, “O mamma, I’m so hungry to see you! Won’t you kiss me?” How often our dear ones at home are hungry for a warmth and tenderness which they do not receive! Of many a tired mother or father who has laid down life’s burdens, it might truthfully be written, “Died for want of love.”

The apostle’s admonition is, “Husbands, love your wives.” Eph. 5:25. Love is not despotic, and does not put its object in a servant’s place. Love serves. Love “seeketh not her own.” The Scripture says, “Love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church.” What a standard for husbands to strive to attain! As Christ gave himself for the church, so the true husband will give himself for his wife in self-denial and whole-hearted devotion. There are husbands who in a great crisis would gladly give up their lives for their companions, and yet they fail to give themselves in the best sense by manifestations of tenderness and expressions of love. It is this only which satisfies the soul’s heart hunger.

But the lack of happy homes is not by any means always due to a failure on the part of the husband. It frequently happens that the wife fails to sympathize with the husband in his work and to appreciate his love and protection. Sometimes she lacks vision to see the larger affairs of life, and allows the little details of everyday life, with which she must constantly deal, so to harass and annoy her that she cannot form just judgments in regard to the great problems of life. Often she falls far short of complete victory over ill temper and petty jealousies.

Again, there are women with a mistaken ambition for some independent work outside the home, who overlook and neglect the exalted work which God would have them do,—the training of their children and the coöperation with their husbands in their work.

The happiness of thousands of homes is marred because the problem of handling money is not correctly solved. And while a stroke of the pen cannot settle this economic problem in the homes where these words shall be read, there is a fundamental principle that can be stated which lies at the basis of the problem. It is this: Marriage is a partnership in which the individuality of

neither party is lost. Both give their best for the benefit and happiness of the firm, and both should share in whatever dividends result from their mutual toil, whether it be happiness, comforts, or money. And yet wives are constantly subjected to humiliation in regard to money, although there is no reason why they should be, even from the standpoint of justice and fair play, to say nothing of religion.

Whatever may be the individual financial ability of either husband or wife in any particular case,—and every observer knows that greater wisdom in financial matters sometimes rests with one, and sometimes with the other,—there is no justice in taking away all the wife’s independence in money matters by compelling her to act as a suppliant and a beggar in the home where she spends longer hours and in more nerve-wearing employment than the husband.

The home should be “the holy of holies of a man’s life. There he may shut himself in from all the world. There he comes in from the cold and strength-sapping strife and work of the outer world. He warms himself at love’s fires. He renews his strength in love’s atmosphere. He rests both spirit and body in love’s faith and confidences. It is his starting point out on his errands in the world, and his returning and retiring place for the nourishing of his life afresh.”

Training of Children

“Training a child is the highest and holiest and most fascinating of all occupations.” How important, then, that all the influences, examples, and teaching in this home training school should be Christian. “Above all things else, let parents surround their children with an atmosphere of cheerfulness, courtesy, and love. A home where love dwells, and where it is expressed in looks, in words, and in acts, is a place where angels delight to manifest their presence. . . . The atmosphere thus created will be to the children what air and sunshine are to the vegetable world, promoting health and vigor of mind and body.”—“Id., pp. 386, 387.”

This sacred work rests largely upon the mother, especially in the earlier years. Here is a beautiful message which should comfort every tired mother’s heart: “If you are a mother, train your children for Christ. This is as verily a work for God as is that of the minister in the pulpit.”—“Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 359.”

The task is more baffling and disheartening when left to the mother alone. In the parable of the prophet to King Ahab, he said, “As thy servant was busy here and there, he was gone.” This will doubtless have to be the plea of many fathers when they stand before God. Too often they are busy here and there with their affairs, their plans, their ambitions, leaving the rearing of the children to the mother, the schools, and the outside world.

There is perhaps nothing in which we more often fail than in not making our children companions. It is far better that mothers should take time to engage with their children in innocent pleasures than to spend their energies on the adornment of the family or the decoration of the house. To fathers it is written, “Give some of your leisure hours to your children; become acquainted with them; associate with them in their work and in their sports, and win their confidence. Cultivate friendship with them, especially with your sons. In this way you will be a strong influence for good.”—“Ministry of Healing, pp. 391, 392.” No doubt thousands of boys and girls have been lost because of a lack of such friendship.

BAPTISMAL SCENE IN SOUTHERN JAPAN
Brother B. P. Hoffman is officiating. A church
was organized here, Nagoya. — BAPTISMAL SCENE IN SOUTHERN JAPAN Brother B. P. Hoffman is officiating. A church was organized here, Nagoya.

“And what if their feet, Sent out of houses, sent into the street, Should step round the corner and pause at the door Where other boys’ feet have paused often before; Should pass through the gateway of glittering light, Where jokes that are merry and songs that are bright Ring out a warm welcome with flattering voice, And temptingly say, ‘Here’s a place for the boys’? “Ah, what if they should? What if your boy, or mine, Should cross o’er the threshold which marks out the line ’Twixt virtue and vice, ’twixt pureness and sin, And leave all his innocent boyhood within? Ah, what if they should, because you and I, While the days and the months and the years hurry by, Are too busy with cares and with life’s fleeting toys To make round our hearthstone a place for the boys?”

God said of Abraham, “I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him.” Gen. 18:19. He governed them, it has been said, by the “combined influence of authority and affection.” What a contrast to Eli, who, though a good man, only remonstrated with his sons, but did not control them, thus permitting them to bring disgrace upon their father and upon Israel. The bishop must be “one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity” (1 Tim. 3:4); and every father should strive for the same ideal.

Family Worship

Every Christian home is a house of prayer. God blesses and shelters the household where he is worshiped. “Prayer weaves a roof of love over the home, and builds walls of protection about it.” Obed-edom made a place for the ark of God in his house, and God blessed his home, and made it a blessing to the nation. On hearing how God had blessed Obed-edom’s house, David renewed his efforts to establish the worship of God in Jerusalem. “Fathers and mothers, however pressing your business, do not fail to gather your family around God’s altar. Ask for the guardianship of holy angels in your home. Remember that your dear ones are exposed to temptations. Daily annoyances beset the path of young and old. Those who would live patient, loving, cheerful lives must pray. Only by receiving constant help from God can we gain the victory over self.”—Id., p. 393.

The Importance of Good Books in the Home

Parents should seek to bring to their children the very best material for building strong characters. It is very important that they should be taught the reading habit, and then be led into the riches of the Bible and good books. A story is told that a soldier of Cyrus found a casket which was said to be full of valuable treasures. It was opened, and out of it came a poisonous atmosphere which caused a plague in the army. There are bright-covered books and magazines in many homes that emit poisonous influences. One of the last burdens on the mind of our beloved Sister White was that our children should have books selected for them which would have a sanctifying power upon their lives. We have been admonished to “form a home reading circle, in which every member of the family shall lay aside the busy cares of the day, and unite in study. Fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, take up this work heartily, and see if the home church will not be greatly improved.”—“Testimonies for the Church,” Vol. VII, p. 64.

Duties of Children

While the burden of making a happy Christian home rests entirely on the parents when children are young, as these children grow up, a due share of the burden rests upon them also. So important is the relation which children should sustain toward their parents that it has been given a place in the holy law of God: “Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” This means that children should always obey and respect their parents. Jesus, who is our example in all things, even after comprehending his mission at the age of twelve, went down to Nazareth, and was subject to his parents for eighteen more years. For him his “Father’s business” during those years was to live in subjection to his parents while engaged in the lowly duties of home life. And on the cross, Jesus paid his last tribute of love and honor to his mother. In the midst of his own anguish, he thought of her and provided for her declining years. “Amid the dark scenes of the cross his example shines like a star in the bosom of the blackest

clouds, saying to us, ‘Honor thy father and thy mother.’”

Ministry of the Christian Home

True religion in the home makes it a beacon light in the moral darkness of this world, pointing men and women to a Saviour. In a special manner are sympathetic Christian homes able to uplift young people.

“Our sympathies are to overflow the boundaries of self and the inclosure of family walls. There are precious opportunities for those who will make their homes a blessing to others. Social influence is a wonderful power. We can use it if we will as a means of helping those about us.

“Our homes should be a place of refuge for the tempted youth. Many there are who stand at the parting of the ways. Every influence, every impression, is determining the choice that shapes their destiny both here and hereafter. Evil invites them. Its resorts are made bright and attractive. They have a welcome for every comer. All about us are youth who have no home, and many whose homes have no helpful, uplifting power, and the youth drift into evil. They are going down to ruin within the very shadow of our own doors. . . .

“If we would show an interest in the youth, invite them to our homes, and surround them with cheering, helpful influences, there are many who would gladly turn their steps into the upward path.”—“Ministry of Healing,” pp. 354, 355.

A Promised Revival

That there is to be a great revival of genuine home religion among Seventh-day Adventists we confidently expect from the prophecy of Malachi. “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord; and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.” Mal. 4:5, 6. Brethren and sisters, why not let the Spirit of God begin that revival in our homes today—let it come in the spirit and power of Elijah, to prepare us, and through us to prepare the world, for the “great and dreadful day of the Lord”?