MAX HILL by MAX HILL

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Mar 7, 1912

MAX HILL

By MAX HILL

Winning and Holding Boys—No. 2

MAX HILL

It takes time to win and hold boys. Everything worth while takes time. The difficulty with many is that they are not willing to take the time. Do you think Judge Ben Lindsey would be known all over the United States, to-day as the friend of boys if he had not taken time to win them? His start was through his work for juvenile criminals, so-called, of Denver. He has taken time to become intimately and actively interested in those for whom he labors.

We do not treat our older friends as we treat children, boys especially. With the older friend we are frank and pleasant; the boy gets the “short form.” When our older friend calls, we entertain him; the boy, if he calls, often entertains himself. Of course, he often does it with a veritable fusillade of insistent questions, and then we say he is an animated question-mark, and send him away, often with his important questions unanswered, and an ache in his heart.

Now that will not win him. How easy it is to take a little time to satisfy the craving for information in the mind just waking up to the wonders of life. If you really want to win the boy, take time to do it. Let some other things go. For the present it may seem more pleasant to spend the evening with older people.

It may seem that you must read on Sabbath afternoon; then take your paper or book and a boy, and read in the woods. But do not spend all the time reading; let him talk to you. Lead him out, do not fear a little latitude; a boy is a boy, and you must be, too. Take one at a time if you would get to the heart of boys. It may be an excursion with older ones would be more to your taste, but occasionally give yourself to a boy or a company of boys; give yourself freely, and see how young you grow, and what real pleasure you gain from the association. When you experience the joy of the conquest of hearts, you will never begrudge the time it takes to win a boy.

To sum up, let me give some do’s and some don’t’s:— Get close to the boy. Give him credit for having feelings. Don’t preach to him all the time.

At the same time, don’t neglect to “talk straight” to him, but talk to him as to a man. Make him really believe that you consider him a man; make him believe it by believing it yourself.

Don’t believe all the bad stories about boys. Some people delight in passing on unsavory stories about others. But even if there is a possibility that the story may be true, refuse to believe it, and do not repeat it. Such a course will encourage the boy when he finds out.

Don’t be surprised if after you win the boy he avoids you sometimes. One of the dearest boys I ever knew used to turn aside sometimes rather than meet me. At such times I did the same thing with him; I ignored him entirely. A little severe letting alone is one sure method for occasional use in such cases, as well as in discipline. It also taught me not to intrude on his time. I found out all about it sooner or later; he always came to me in time. Now he thinks he is a man,—and he is,—but he always expects and gets a warm greeting from me when I see him, which is not oftener than once or twice a year. I doubt whether he will ever get too big or too old for the little tokens of affection I gave him when he wore knickerbockers.

It goes without saying that you must love boys if you would win them. When I attended my first teachers’ institute, one of the instructors made the remark that to make a success of teaching we must love children. To me that meant nothing then. I accepted the statement in a theoretical way, but I did not know that to love children means more than a general willingness to endure them if necessary. Later I found out that it

means a real, live interest in boys and girls as individuals. Then I found that I must take time for it if I would really succeed.

So much for winning the boy. Repeat the treatment many times to hold him. You can not always appeal to his reason; his course may not be guided by that star. You can not always appeal to his affection; he does not care to parade his feelings. You can not always appeal to his pride; he often seems utterly lacking in this characteristic, too. But study the boy; when you know him, you will know how to appeal to him. Remember to appeal to the man in him; there is more real man in him than his actions indicate; and he likes to feel it, to know that you recognize it in him. When you do this, you will hold him.

A Motto Prayer

Our Father, make our school to-day A place where angels joy to stay, Where thou canst come, and side by side With each of us this day abide.

Sanitarium, Cal.