Discipline in the Home by MRS. J. L. SHAW

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Sep 3, 1914

Discipline in the Home

By MRS. J. L. SHAW

MRS. J. L. SHAW

In the mission field appointed to mothers, comes the encouraging counsel, “If we will open our hearts and homes to the divine principles of life, we shall become channels for currents of life-giving power.” It is therefore very important in the discipline in our homes that we ourselves shall be in living touch with the Source of life and power; for without this our service will be fruitless.

The following instruction will prove an aid in our daily run of service:—

“By gentle discipline, in loving words and acts, mothers may bind their children to their hearts.”—Ministry of Healing, page 388.

“Let the sunshine of love, cheerfulness, and happy contentment enter your own hearts, and let its sweet, cheering influence pervade your home. Manifest a kindly, forbearing spirit; and encourage the same in your children, cultivating all the graces that will brighten the home life.”—Id., page 387.

“A word of caution or reproof spoken at the right time will be of great value. By patient, watchful love she can turn the minds of the children in the right direction, cultivating in them beautiful and attractive traits of character. Mothers should guard against training their children to be dependent and self-absorbed. Never lead them to think that they are the center, and that everything must revolve around them.”—Id., page 389.

“Some mothers are not uniform in the treatment of their children. At times they indulge them to their injury; and again they refuse some innocent gratification that would make the childish heart very happy.”—Id., page 390.

“Rule your children with tenderness and compassion, remembering that ‘their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.’”—Id., page 394.

“Home should be a place where cheerfulness, courtesy, and love abide: and where these graces dwell, there will abide happiness and peace.”—Id., page 393.

While in South Africa my father sent me, soon after my mother’s death, her scrapbook, which contained among its treasures some “Rules for Mothers” and suggestions for home education. I can certainly say that my own dear mother fully practiced these principles in her home training. I can distinctly remember how she sought the Lord’s help in her “bower of prayer,” a room that was set aside for communion with God. I remember one instance in particular. I had deceived mother. She first went away and prayed in her accustomed place. Then she took me with her and read from the Bible how God regarded this sin, and then together our hearts sought help and forgiveness from a dear, loving Father. This was the only time I ever received a whipping from my mother, and it was with tears and anguish of heart that it was given. This experience was so indelibly impressed upon my mind that I never willingly deceived my mother again.

I pass on the following rules from my mother’s scrapbook, hoping they may be an inspiration to some other parent:—

Rules for Mothers

“1. First give yourself, then your child, to God. It is but giving him his own.

“2. Always prefer virtue to wealth; the honor that comes from God to the honor that comes from men. Do this for yourself; do it for your child.

“3. Let your whole course be to raise your child to a high standard. Do not sink into childishness yourself.

“4. Give no needless commands; but when you command, require prompt obedience.

“5. Never indulge a child in cruelty, even to an insect.

“6. Cultivate sympathy with your child in all lawful joys and sorrows.

“7. Be sure you never correct your child until you know it deserves correction. Hear it first and fully.

“8. The knowledge and fear of the Lord are the beginning of wisdom.

“9. Never mortify the feelings of your child by upbraiding it with dullness; but do not inspire it with self-conceit.

“10. Pray with and for your child often and heartily.

“11. Encourage all attempts at self-improvement.

“12. Never deceive, nor break a promise to a child.

Rules for Home Education

“1. From your children’s earliest infancy inculcate the necessity of instant obedience.

“2. Unite firmness with gentleness. Let your children always understand that you mean exactly what you say.

“3. Never promise them anything unless you are sure you can give them what you promise.

“4. If you tell a child to do anything, tell him how to do it, and see that it is done.

“5. Never let your children see that they can vex you, or make you lose your self-command.

“6. Never smile at any of their actions of which you do not approve, even though they are somewhat amusing.

“7. If they give way to fretfulness and temper, wait till they are calm, and then quietly reason with them on the impropriety of their conduct.

“8. Remember that a little present punishment when the occasion arises, is much more effectual than the threatening of a much greater punishment should the fault be renewed.

“9. Never give your children anything because they cry for it.

“10. On no account allow them to do at one time what you have forbidden under the same circumstances, at another.

“11. Teach them that the only sure and easy way to appear good is to be good.

“12. Accustom them to make their little recitals the perfect truth.

“13. Never allow talebearing.

“14. Teach them that self-denial, not self-indulgence, is the appointed and sure method of securing happiness.

“15. Above all things, instruct them from the Word of God, taking Jesus for their example of patience, meekness, and love, teaching them to pray as they grow up as the only preservative against error, weakness, and sin.”

Takoma Park, D. C.