The Marriage Altar by C. C. LEWIS

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Sep 17, 1914

The Marriage Altar

By C. C. LEWIS

C. C. LEWIS

GOD has ordained that human life shall be perpetuated by means of the marriage institution. Upon the first man and woman he bestowed his blessing, and said to them, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.” Marriage is one of twin institutions which come down to us from the Garden of Eden. Before sin entered, God gave to man marriage and the Sabbath institution. Marriage is honorable in all. It is the foundation of the home. Out of it grow the fond relationships of father and son, mother and daughter, brother and sister, husband and wife. What loving words are these! Blot them from our language, and with them that for which they stand, and who would care to longer bear the burden of living?

Proper Associations

Love is godlike; for “God is love.” But love and lust are far removed. Love leads to marriage, but lust severs the marriage tie. Strange that they should seem so near and yet be so far apart. Lust is the abuse (ab-use, or wrong use) of the good gift of God. It is a matter of the utmost importance to all young men and women to know how to relate themselves properly to one another. The proper association of ladies and gentlemen is a blessing to both. Men receive from such association a refining

subduing influence. Women receive strength and integrity of character. But improper associations produce evil results. In their intercourse with one another, young people should maintain a proper reserve. They should associate as friends and companions, in a frank, manly and womanly way; but at the same time there should be a bound of reserve through which no one would dare to break. Womanly reserve and modesty constitute a bulwark of purity and safety. When we forget this proper reserve, we fall into danger.

Reserve and Modesty

It would be wrong to tell young people that they should not delight in one another’s society. God has planted the social instinct in their hearts, and it is natural for them to like to be together; but it would not be wrong to say that they should be modest and reserved in their associations with one another. They should not trifle with the affections. They should not feign regard for another which they do not possess. They should not lead another on to bestow affection which is not returned, nor should they allow another to go on thus of his own accord. A quiet manner of dignified reserve is usually sufficient to set another right in this matter. Young people should learn to be happy and cheerful together without being sentimental and silly.

It is an unwise custom to be “going with” some one all the time. Many seem to think this the proper thing to do, as if all the boys and girls must be paired off before the eyes of the community, and if any little thing by chance disturbs this arrangement, there must be a great ado of fluttering about until another adjustment is made. Thus it often happens that boys and girls pass through a long course of these slender attachments, like a humming bird flitting from flower to flower, but seeming to be never satisfied to alight. Such associations dissipate their affections, until they are scarcely able to recognize or bestow true affection. Perhaps it is too much to expect that there should be in every case only one such alignment, and that the final one for the journey of life; but we should certainly approach as nearly as possible to this ideal. In Life and Health, Mrs. M. L. Dickson truthfully remarks, “Most of the divorce cases are the result of matches contracted before a girl is old enough to be governed by her intellect rather than her impulses.”

Be Sensible

But when at last the time shall come—as come it doubtless will—for our own

hearts to be pierced with Cupid’s sharp arrows, then do let us try to be sensible! If we cannot be as sensible as we should like, let us at least be as sensible as we can. It is surprising sometimes to note how foolish otherwise sensible people become in regard to these matters of affection. Good taste indicates that they should be conducted with a quiet and becoming dignity. It is not best to wear one’s heart upon the sleeve. The less publicity one attracts in these matters the better. Not that it is a matter of which to be ashamed. On the contrary, no man has fully lived until he has sincerely and purely loved a noble woman. But such relations are too delicate and too sacred to be needlessly exposed to public gaze.

(To be concluded)