Juvenile Self-Reliance by Mrs. Allen Moon

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Dec 17, 1914

Juvenile Self-Reliance

By Mrs. Allen Moon

MRS. ALLEN MOON

SELF-CONTROL is the very foundation of self-reliance, and we have to teach children self-control from their earliest babyhood. Recently I called on my neighbor to see her baby, a child about two weeks old. The mother remarked: “The baby is getting spoiled already; how quickly babies do learn!” It had been ill, and when it cried some one had picked it up and carried it. Babies do learn quickly. If they are taken up every time they cry, they will learn in a very few days that if they want to be taken up, crying is all that is necessary.

Many mothers think that when a baby cries, it must be fed immediately. How many times on going into a home one can scarcely find a chair he dares sit on, because of the “pieces” lying about. Sugar and molasses and jelly are much in evidence, and the door knobs are sticky. Now whether the children must have a piece depends upon how they are taught from babyhood. Some children are taught never to eat between meals, and if you offer them something they hardly know what to do with it because it is not time to eat. It is a matter of self-control on the part of both mother and child.

How often you find all the sewing machine drawers locked! This must be done because the baby will pull them out and tangle the thread and misplace things. If the little one is taught, even before it begins to walk, to let things alone, this will not be necessary.

When the baby starts to walk, there comes to the mother a good chance to teach self-reliance. The baby stands up, tries to take a step, and falls. The mother immediately runs and picks up the child. Why not let it pick itself up? Teach it to do things for itself, and not depend upon others too much; do not teach the child that everything that must be done for it must be done by some one else. If a child gets hurt, instead of running and picking it up the first thing, and comforting it and holding it, let it rely on itself. I do not mean by this that the child should be made to feel turned off or crowded out of the mother’s heart, or that it should not have sympathy, but let it learn that every little hurt does not need to upset the household.

When the little one begins to go to school, it is necessary that it should learn self-reliance in the matter of lessons. A child, of course, should have a reasonable amount of help with its lessons; but if the mother helps too much, working problems, writing out exercises, and that sort of thing, during the first grades, there will surely come a time when even the mother’s help cannot carry the child through, and he will be sorely lacking in that essential prerequisite of success, self-reliance. Encourage the child to depend upon himself; to study by himself and work things out alone when possible. Never let him feel that you are not in sympathy with him; make his interests yours, but teach him to lean upon himself as much as possible; in other words, to be self-reliant.

Then there is the matter of choosing associates. The parents should be always on the alert, ready to counsel, suggest, and advise; but it will never do to say, “You shall not associate with so-and-so.” Let the children have a chance to choose for themselves, but hold high ideals ever before them; for the harness will surely break some time. In training children we must keep in mind that they must stand alone in the world later in life, and it is our work to prepare them to choose wisely between the good and the evil which they will surely meet in the world, where they must choose for themselves. We must help them to choose the right; to do right because it is right, not from compulsion.

I think we ought to teach our children how to handle money. Instead of buying everything for them, we should allow them to handle money, that while still in the home they may get an idea of its value. I do not mean that they should be allowed to spend all they wish. There is a happy medium, and that is what we should find. They can be taught to buy their own shoes, hats, etc. It might be well to start on their pencils, shoe strings, and such things. They need to be taught how to get the most for their money,—something of qualities, prices, etc.,—but should be allowed to buy for themselves. They will soon learn.

We should teach our children to love and serve God, and then let them move forward as God leads them. We should counsel and encourage them, rather than force them. I remember attending a certain camp meeting and seeing a crowd gathered around a little fellow in a revival

meeting. He was frightened, really terrified, and was crying bitterly. Some one had talked to his mother, and she was urging him to go forward. Others were also urging him to go, and he was very nervous, and really bewildered as to what it was all about. I believe that was a mistake; and yet we should not go to the other extreme of never saying anything to the children about taking their stand for the Lord. We can teach our children the principles of religion,—they will learn them in a Christian home,—and while we, with the Lord’s help, seek to show them the way of life, we must let the Holy Spirit do the urging. Then when they finally take their stand, they will have a real experience.

As the child grows older, the matter of courtship and marriage must receive attention. There is endless sin and misery in this old world of ours as the result of mistakes in these matters. I believe that parents should talk to their children about the real meaning and sacredness of such things, and while striving to guide them aright, let them choose for themselves. A tree that grows in the forest, sheltered by its neighbors from wind and storm, shut in and protected, does not grow so strong and firm of fiber as the tree that grows in an unprotected spot and stands exposed to every blast. That is typical of children. The child that is taught self-reliance and self-control will be able to stand alone when temptation comes.

It is a great problem to bring up children,—the greatest in the world,—but it is a blessed privilege, and also a blessed responsibility which God has given to parents; for they can take these little ones before other hands have had a chance to mold them, and can fashion them in such a way that they will be the Lord’s children. If we make this a life study, and seek help from God constantly, we may have the joy of seeing our sons as plants grown up in their youth; and our daughters corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace. See Ps. 144: 12.