Let the Children Help the Overburdened Mother
Usually it is the mothers with large families who are overburdened. I should like to say a few words, especially to those living on the farm, as to how I have managed to lighten the load of daily duties. I have a family of six children to care for. The oldest are boys of twelve and fourteen years, the youngest a baby of one year. My husband works away from home a great deal, so the boys are kept busy with farm work and chores when out of school. I often have to help them myself. I used to give each child his work as it had to be done. This necessitated a great deal of care on my part, and much waste of time on theirs if I was not on hand to set them to work. Now I have a plan so much better that I wish to tell others about it. I make each child responsible for certain daily duties, trying to have each one's work suited to his strength, natural ability, and liking as much as possible. I also give the children the privilege of changing work at any time, with my consent. When one child thinks his task is the hardest or most disagreeable, I always make a temporary change at once. Even the little tots that most mothers think are just “in the way” can be trained to help in a short time. Let them begin when they want to “help mamma,” even though at first you have to do all their work over. My little girl of four years thinks it quite a privilege to wash the dishes. At first I worked with her, showing her how to do each one thoroughly. Now her brother next older wipes them, and washes the things that she is too small to handle. He also has his work, to feed and water the chickens in the morning and bring in the wood at night, after school. A little eight-year-old girl staying with us sweeps the dining room and kitchen and washes the separator before going to school. After school she cleans and fills the lamps, and puts the separator together, helps with the supper dishes, or clears the table and brushes up the crumbs. One of the older boys runs the milk through the separator; the other brings in the water. One feeds the calves while the other feeds the cows their grain. The older one helps milk while the other feeds the stock. I encourage them to be prompt and thorough and rapid in their work by giving them extra time to play, helping them make something they much desire, or giving them a special treat. But the first and most important thing is to teach them to do things correctly and thoroughly from the start. It is a pleasant task when the little ones want to help wash dishes, to impress their minds with the fact that they must first wash their hands perfectly clean; then wash each dish and knife and fork thoroughly, wipe it till it shines, and then stack each kind of dish neatly together in an orderly way. It is just as easy to teach them to do the work right when they are being allowed to help as a special privilege, perhaps at the age of two or three years. Of course at this age I do not require regular work. Children should always be corrected and taught in a pleasant, kindly way. Help them to make play of work as much as possible. For instance, I had my youngest boy play he was a baker making bread to sell, and he must have everything about himself so very clean and neat, and must make his loaves all exactly the same size. This was when he first began to want to help me. I taught my little girl when she was but three years old to place the knives, forks, and spoons on the table, each by itself, with handles the same way, by having her play she was putting the horses, cows, and calves in their stalls in the barn. It was great fun for her. Our aim should be to make the little ones love to work and never lose their baby desire to “help mamma.” I shall never forget how often my oldest boy repeated these words before he was two years old. We were alone a great deal, and he would want to do whatever I did. When I let him try to do something, he worked with all his might, saying in such a pleased tone, “Help mamma; help mamma; help mamma.” I am now teaching my little girl only one year old to do many things that will soon save me steps. She can walk, but does not talk yet. I tell her to shut the door, then show her what I mean—how to do it. Soon I ask her to do the same thing again, while it is fresh in her mind. Then I praise her and pet her, and she is anxious and happy to do something more. She is learning to bring me things, and to put them up for me when I am through with them. As the children grow older, I teach them to cook the simple articles of food, set a small amount of bread sponge, mix, and see to the baking of it. It does not hurt a boy to learn to cook and do housework. When my boys were smaller, I had them help me do the work in the house, and then I went with them to the garden to work. I gave each one his task, taking for myself two or three times as much as I gave them. Then we would race to see who could finish first. They were free to play as soon as their work was completed. We should be very careful not to keep children at the same work or at any work too steadily or too long at a time. They tire very quickly, and work becomes to them a dread and drudgery, instead of a joy and delight. Then, too, if they know that as soon as they have finished with one task they will be set at another, they are likely to learn to shirk their work, and play when they should be working. It is well to praise them and show appreciation of their efforts, even if they do prove oftentimes more of a bother than a help. A little praise goes a long way. For instance, one of my girls is just learning to sweep. I show her how to pick up things, how to sweep under the table, couch, etc., and in corners as well. Then I say, “Mamma's little girl will pick up everything, sweep under things and in the corners.” She goes around repeating, “Tell you what, we won't leave things lying around! We'll sweep good in corners, and under things,” and suits her actions to her words.