Practical Problems of Home Makers by MRS. C. C. LEWIS

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Mar 11, 1915

Practical Problems of Home Makers

By MRS. C. C. LEWIS

MRS. C. C. LEWIS

Overtraining the Child

HERE is a mother who has just learned from the lessons in Early Education and from Mr. Trumbull's book on child training that there is danger of overtraining the child.

She says that the idea of overtraining a child is new to her, and not very clear. There are many children overtrained, or too highly trained. One of the most important things to learn is to let them alone much of the time, supplying them with blocks or other playthings, and leaving them to amuse themselves.

All the lessons and the reading can do is to furnish principles which have been found true in the experience of the writers of the book and of the lessons. The application of these principles must of necessity be left to each mother. I know that this is the most difficult part of the work.

It is very easy to read a book; it is more difficult to take the principles of that book and put them into practice. But that is nothing new, nor is it discouraging. It is easier to preach than to practice, always will be. Nevertheless, it is the mother's work to do the practicing and to apply these principles. She will have to try them again and again; she will have to try this way and that way and the other way, until she finally finds a successful way of her own for her child. Nobody can tell her how to do this. She must find it out for herself by prayer, by study, and by trying different plans with her child. This is her problem. No one else can solve it for her. It is for her and the Lord to work together to find the best way.

Willful, Crying Children

A mother says that her child is very determined to have his own way, and cries till he gets it. That is nothing new. Nearly every child tries that trick. It is all right for the mother to find some method that will, as much as possible, keep the child from crying; but she should not be alarmed at considerable crying. Children will stand a great deal of crying without injuring them. It is better for them not to cry much; but still, how quickly they can pass from a cry to a laugh! And the beauty of it is that their faces, though so crooked when crying, seem to straighten out suddenly. I never yet heard of any child's face being made permanently crooked by crying when he was young. From the artist's standpoint, the face probably presents a distressing picture, but the living picture has this advantage over the artist's picture: it can quickly change, and all the unpleasant features can pass away.

Delayed Training

Some one asks what to do if a child has reached the age of one or two years before the mother has taught him the lesson of self-control. There is only one thing to do, and that is for her to do just what she should have done at the beginning. The same principles apply. It will be more difficult, probably, to form right habits, but the habits must be formed in the same way, only the mother must be more patient and more persevering in forming them. It is not hopelessly discouraging if the child has come to be one or two years of age before the work of training is well begun. That is still quite early. Most children receive little training until a later age. There is no other way than to follow the principles that have been laid down in the lessons, and the mother will have to do the best she can, and trust in the Lord.

The Rocking Habit

Again: you ask what you shall do if your child has the habit of wanting to be rocked to sleep or of having you lie down with him. This is the habit of most little children, but it is an unnecessary habit, as some mothers have demonstrated again and again. The child can just as well be taught to go to sleep in his little crib or bed without being rocked; but it is well for the mother to sit by the bed and sometimes sing a lullaby to the child until he goes to sleep. A little later this will be the most sacred and precious hour in the day. It will be the hour of prayer, the hour of confidential talks with the child, the hour when the deepest impressions for good are made.

“Crying It Out”

If the child wakes up in the night and screams on finding himself alone, it may be because he has had an unpleasant dream, and he may need to be comforted by his mother. But crying just from habit or spunk should be overcome, and there is only one way to overcome it, and that is to let the child cry until he gets tired of crying. We have let our children “scream it out” many a time, and “the folks in the house” had to stand it. There is no other way to break the habit. If “the folks in the house” will not endure it, then the habit will have to go on, probably, until the child outgrows it or gets rid of it in some other way.

Do the Best You Can

Now, all this talk may not seem very helpful. Some of us who have had considerable experience with children have learned that there is no cut-and-dried method of dealing with them. We have to read all the good books we can upon the subject, and we have to study our children for ourselves, and pray to the Lord to give us wisdom, and then do the very best we can, leaving the matter with him, and trusting that the child will in time overcome his unpleasant habits and make a true and useful man or woman.