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Young Womanhood

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Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Jan 6, 1910

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 87, No. 1.

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Young Womanhood

By Mrs. H. A. Morrison

MRS. H. A. MORRISON
A TOUCHING story is told of a young man who was rapidly losing his eyesight; the physician told him he would be able to see but for a few months. At once, accompanied by a sister, he set out to travel over Europe, taking a last look at the beautiful things of this world before his eyes should be closed forever upon them, in order that he might have his memory stored with the lovely pictures of mountains, lakes, and the beautiful creations of God's hand, to lighten his gloom. Even so in years to come, when we are separated from friends, may we have helpful memories of meetings together; may they be as cords of light connecting us with past pleasant days. Womanhood is really the polishing of girlhood. Even diamonds require polishing to be of value. We all know the characteristics of girlhood, all of which, when we merge into fulness of womanhood, vanish as the dew before the radiance of the morning.
Friendship comes to the young as the glory of spring, a very miracle of beauty. Friendship is the greatest thing in world relationships. It is the second great commandment, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” A Scandinavian proverb says, “Go often to the house of thy friends, for weeds soon choke up the unused path.”
A girl should never permit herself to comment unfavorably upon one friend to another. One says, “Loyalty is the life-breath of real friendship.” If we would have the noblest friends, do not continually chatter about trifles, for heart confidences and soul-inspiring purposes do not grow in the soil of idle gossip.
A few weeks ago I heard Dr. Cadman, of New York City, speak on the subject of “The Puritans in Two Worlds.” He said he was delivering this lecture to his own church, and was speaking of how the Puritans would listen to the reading of the Bible for four or five hours. One of his flock, who could play whist for five or six hours in succession, came to him at the close of the lecture and wanted to know if that was really so. “If I listen to you,” she said, “for twenty minutes, I’m all in a squirm.” “Well,” he said to her, “I don’t doubt it; you can’t pour more than a pint into a pint bottle, but the Puritans were not pint measures.” Let us be able to hold more than pints.
Happy indeed is the girl who is not occupied with the impression she is making. Clothes count for little, as every woman knows. Here and there one finds an emancipated woman, who is independent of her toilet. One reason why the educated woman is so often a bond-slave is that she is determined not to be outdone by anybody.
Each girl should have an older friend. I mean some one she can hold in a different relationship than she does the girl who has been so closely associated with her home life that each seems a part of the other. I mean a woman in whose friendship she will find a fulness of life that she has never known—a woman who really helps her grow up, not down in any way. It gives a little zest to life to have to stand on tiptoe to meet some one’s charm and intelligence, to try to be like her, as gracious or as pleasing or as good.
Friendship moves us to action; we must do something to show it. If we remain passive, with friendship at our side, there is something unnatural and cold-blooded about us.
The big opportunity it holds out to us is to do something for some one. We must not take from an older friend without giving in return the best there is in us. She needs it. There should be no place for sickly sentimentality, which is so apt to steal into friendship, but purebred common sense. We may speak and think of friendship, but unless we act, it is a dead thing to us. Do you know an older woman discouraged? Give her your young enthusiasm and gentle understanding.Be sunny in your manners, and sympathetic.
Take a little thought for mother, so dear to us all. Make her feel she knows the most, has the best judgment, is the dearest in all the world, and you will be rewarded with an overflow of joy and peace which is closely akin to divine love in its lasting. Give it to mother; she is bound to feel in this modern time a little behindhand, out of date; cheer and encourage her. This is a true daughter’s first delight. She is tired, and perhaps faded, but she has an experience that is in itself worth as much in mental discipline as that which a college can bestow. Is it fair for you to take everything and give her nothing? You are to prevent her underestimating herself; she is the essence of winsome womanhood.
We do not know ourselves; if we did, we would see things so differently. For example, one girl prides herself on her sincerity, and openly declares that she always speaks her mind without reference to the opinion of the rest of the world. She would be offended if told that her bluntness is merely an expression of aggressive self-esteem. Another girl makes herself and others miserable through jealousy. Another spends much time in private devotion, but is so negligent of her own mother that the latter has to engage help for what ought to be a daughter’s joy. Another has such a burden for the poor that she hasn’t a moment to cheer her father with music or song at night. In her own view she is philanthropic, quite unaware that the truest altruism and sweetest sincerity begin at home.
Little by little some intellectual ambition will draw us away from our true place in life if we are not careful, and will make cold, unloved, and unhelpful women of us, instead of the joyous and unselfish ones we might have been. Ambition is all right, but let us give it its just proportion; let us use our talents, but keep them forever subordinate to simple human duties of life. If the instinct of daughter, sister, or mother dies out of a woman, no matter how brilliant her achievements may be, the world will forget to love her. Lyttleton’s advice to a lady was:—
“Seek to be good, but aim not to be great, A woman’s noblest station is retreat; Her fairest virtues fly from public sight.”
Once a perfect life was lived on this earth. Whoever would gain what is highest and deepest in self-knowledge should study and imitate that perfect example. We must have affectionate womanliness if we would lift the fallen, and comfort and bless those about us.
Do not underrate little things. In the scheme of life, nothing is trifling. As the dainty collar sets off the toilet; the trim belt, the neat glove,—all small items,—are of more value than the gowns in height of fashion; so the tact that sets people at ease, helpfulness that is unobtrusive, ability to comfort a disappointed child—all little things—reveal real character and nobility in womanhood.
It is said Tennyson considered the asking by an outcast how to live a better life a greater compliment than praise of queens.
A most unhappy disposition is that which indulges in fits of the blues and refuses to recognize any brightness unless self is the center of it.
Reading the good and true, no young woman will fail to grow better and more lovable. Is there on our shelves or table the well-worn Bible, to read with a thirsting for knowledge? Whatever other books are noble, this is nobler; whatever else is sweet, this contains fulness of sweetness and light.
In the young woman’s friends we must take account of those of the other sex. True women are a help to their gentlemen friends.
Ask yourself if the young men you associate with in class, hall, at gatherings, are elevating and ennobling your lives. Are they making you more womanlike? Are you enriching their lives with that touch of tenderness, of gentility, which is woman’s place to impart, and which reacts upon herself, making her fit for the lifelong companionship of married life when the day comes for that happy culmination of an earthly friendship?
May the blessing of each girl’s quiet life fall on us like dew. Some one said we may fill our lives with music if we know what chords to touch. Let us be brave and true.
“O none should deem it wasted time Who stands in a humble spot, And digs and waters a little space Which the hurrying world heeds not; For the Lord of the harvest equally Sends the blessed sun and rain On the large work and the little work, And none of it is in vain.”
South Lancaster, Mass.