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Worldly Associates

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Review and Herald Publishing Association · Tacoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Feb 17, 1910

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 87, No. 7.

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Worldly Associates

By Clarence Santee

CLARENCE SANTEE
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? and what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? and what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God.” 2 Cor. 6: 14-16.
To-day there is a strange tendency among those who profess to keep “the commandments of God, and the faith of Jesus” to ignore this text, to their eternal loss. Fathers and mothers who have lost a companion by death, often choose a second companion from the world.
How, then, can they teach their children, who are passing through the most dangerous period, in many ways, of life, to heed the injunction of the Spirit of God, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers”? This text also applies to the choice of associates, by young men or young women, from the world. Here is the first misstep. A young lady said to me, “If I do not accept the company of a young man of the world, I will have none, as there are no young men here who are in the truth.” But must a question of this kind stand in the way of obedience to God? This may be the test of loyalty for that soul. God has said, “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” 1 John 2: 15.
“I was then shown a young girl . . . who had departed from God, and was enshrouded in darkness. Said the angel, ‘She did run well for a season; what did hinder her?’ I was pointed back, and saw that it was a change of surroundings. She was associating with youth like herself, who were filled with hilarity and glee, pride, and love of the world. Had she regarded the words of Christ, she need not have yielded to the enemy.”—“Testimonies for the Church,” Vol. II, pages 100, 101.
“But,” one says, “if I break off this association, he [or she] will turn away from his favorable attitude to the truth.” Or, “He is so favorable to the truth that if I unite with him in marriage, I know he will accept.” Listen to the words of one who knows:—
“I have been shown the cases of some who profess to believe the truth, who have made a great mistake by marrying unbelievers. The hope was cherished by them that the unbelieving party would embrace the truth; but after his object is gained, he is further from the truth than before. . . . Many are now losing their interest and confidence in the truth, because they have taken unbelief into close connection with themselves. . . . Those who profess the truth trample on the will of God in marrying unbelievers. They lose his favor and make bitter work for repentance. . . . God strictly forbade the intermarrying of his ancient people with other nations. The plea is now offered that this prohibition was made in order to prevent the Hebrews from marrying idolaters, and forming connection with heathen families. But the heathen were in a more favorable condition than are the impenitent in this age, who, having the light of truth, yet persistently refuse to accept it.”—Id., Vol. IV, pages 504-508.
“There are many to-day, who, not having heeded the command of God, are yoked with unbelievers, and are suffering the bitter consequences. Every spiritual aspiration seems blasted. In many cases they can not meet with the people of God for spiritual encouragement, without scenes of bitterness, and reproach at home, and thus, one by one, they fall out by the way. If through conscientious convictions that can not be stifled, they remain steadfast, those dearer to them than their own lives, their children, turn away to the world, and there is no hope. One faithful sister wrote me that her only daughter had died, and while life seemed buried with her, she felt that it was better thus, as she was the only one left of her children who stood with her for the Lord, and she knew not what the future might have brought. O, the bitterness, the anguish, the heart-breaks, the loss of eternal life, that have come by accepting the company of those who were not in the truth! Samson, who was so honored of God at one time, has left only a monument of hopeless failure. Disobeying the counsels of his parents, choosing the association of worldlings, he sold the secret of God, prostituted his Nazarene vow, and would have miserably perished had he not while blind and enslaved, sought in bitterness of soul, pardon from God. Ahab, by marrying out of Israel, brought all Israel to shame, while himself and wife died, to be execrated forever. The names of many eminent in Israel may be added to the list, yet the lesson has not been learned. “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.” Ps. 127: 1.
Should the believing one, then, part from the unbelieving companion?—No, do not add sin to sin, but seek God for that forgiveness which alone, when assured, will prepare you to do the work a faithful companion should do just where you are. “And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.” 1 Cor. 7: 13. But if a person marries an unbeliever, expecting that God’s mercies will bring forgiveness, and thus lightly regards the judgments of God, it is likely that he will continue lightly to regard his requirements, and will be lost. Obedience is the only safe way.
If the first step had not been taken, the others would never have come. One will say, “I only accept of the attentions of this person for company, I would never think of marrying him.” Beware; you are trifling with the most sacred feelings of a human being. You are not secure yourself; neither have you a right to trifle with the feelings of another. Murders, suicides, and a host of other evils, caused by a light trifling with feelings, should warn us forever from the forbidden ground. “Great peace have they which love thy law.” This love is shown by obedience. God lays it upon parents to have a part in the selection of associates for their children, yet how many are there who do so? Speaking of the duty of parents to children, God has said, “It is their duty to select the society for them, and not suffer them to choose for themselves. . . . Sabbath-keeping children may become impatient of restraint, and think their parents too strict; hard feelings may even arise in their hearts, and discontented, unhappy thoughts may be cherished by them against those who are working for their present and their future and eternal good. But if life shall be spared for a few years, they will bless their parents for that strict care and faithfulness in watching over them in their years of inexperience.”—Id., Vol. I, page 400.
Parents, when you undertake to carry out these instructions of the Lord, your own besetments will come to the surface, and unless entirely shielded by the grace and Spirit of the Lord, you will only sow tares where you had hoped to sow the seed of the kingdom. God has this counsel for you: “Fathers and mothers, speak kindly to your children. remember how sensitive you are, how little you can bear to be blamed; reflect, and know that your children are like you. That which you can not bear, do not lay upon them.”—Id., page 401. “Parents, the recording angel writes every impatient, fretful word you utter to your children.”—Id., page 399. These are solemn words.
We must correct, guide, and look for the companionship of our children. The tender Spirit of Christ must be manifest in all this, so there will be a continual school in which we must learn self-control, as well as our children. There is another element in our association that Satan nourishes with special care. It is the undue familiarity that is manifested by persons with the opposite sex, for the purpose of drawing them to the truth. “To encourage an unbecoming familiarity in the association of men and women, boys and girls, under the pretext of seeking conversion and sanctification, is to foster an evil whose influence is of the worst character.”—“Gospel Workers,” page 274.
Then to sum up: to the youth God has spoken, admonishing them to accept of the attentions of no person of the opposite sex who is not in the truth. To all, old and young, he has said that “those who know the truth, trample on the will of God by marrying unbelievers.” To “trample on the will of God” is to “crucify the Son of God afresh.”
Youth should not become impatient and resentful when parents assist in choosing proper associations, neither should parents criticize or correct in a hasty or unkind frame of mind. The censure or blame that would grieve the parent should not be given to the child. The love of God accepted, and dwelling in the heart, will guide both parents and children, until they form unbroken families in the kingdom of God.
Keene, Tex.