Our Influence With Others
By C. H. PRETYMAN
“There are other people. We are not the only ones. Some of the others live close to us, and some far away. We stand in certain relations to these other people. They have claims upon us. We owe them duties, services, love. . . . We can not rid ourselves of obligations to them, and say we owe them nothing.” We often forget this in our daily life. It is so natural to think first of self that in our plans and thoughts we often forget others. This is especially the case in regard to our influence over the lives of those with whom we come in contact. We forget that every word we speak and every act we perform has an influence, the power of which we can never know, on the lives of our companions and friends. The power of life over life is something almost startling. There have been single looks of an eye which have changed a destiny. There have been meetings of only a moment which have left impressions for life, for eternity. Then how careful we should be in what we say and do. Yet it is all forgetfulness. There is not one of us who would willingly throw an obstacle in another’s way to trip him up if we knew that he would be maimed for life, perhaps killed, in the fall. Yet in our inner lives, we often leave obstacles behind us in our path which cause many feet, less steady and sure than our own, to stumble and fall, perhaps never to rise again, and think nothing of it. We forget. If only we could know at the close of a day’s journey what obstacles of influence we have scattered along our path, bitter indeed would be our grief. But, on the other hand, if we could see the sunshine, the happiness, the courage, which our influence has caused, on a day when we have not forgotten that there are “other people,” our own hearts would be filled with joy and fresh courage. We all like to see others happy, and we like to help to make them so; we even give up our own pleasure to make them so, and yet we forget how much our influence has to do with others’ happiness, and many a time some other heart is wounded by some thoughtless word or deed of ours. “We are forever either adding to the world’s happiness and good, or to its pain, sorrow, and curse. We are always giving out influence.” “No stream from its source
Flows seaward, how lonely soe’er its course
But what some land is gladdened. No star ever rose
And set without influence somewhere. Who knows
What earth needs from earth’s lowest creatures? No life
Can be pure in its purpose and strong in its strife
And all life not be purer and stronger thereby.” “Every one of us casts a shadow. It goes with us wherever we go. It is not something that we can have when we want to have it, and then lay aside when we will, as we lay aside a garment. It is something that always pours out from our life like light from a lamp, like perfume from a flower. Without being conscious of it, we are always impressing others by this strange power that goes out from us. Others watch us, and their actions are modified by ours. Many a life has been started on a course of beauty and blessing by the influence of a noble act.” If we could only remember this from day to day, how careful we should all be! Do we not all want to be a help to some one else?—Of course we do. There is not one of us who would not do another a good turn when the chance occurs. Yet we forget; and many a time when thronged by many duties, we say an impatient word and make an impatient gesture which wounds some one, or damages our influence. Perhaps some are constantly watching us, and building their character from our pattern unconsciously. They respect us perhaps as being older, or having firmer principle; and when impatience, or perhaps even anger is manifested, how it sears their hearts! On the other hand, when they see kindness and love, it inspires the same graces in them. This is well illustrated in the following anecdote:— A little newsboy entered a railway car, and was soon fast asleep. Presently two young ladies came in, and took seats opposite him. The child’s feet were bare, his clothes ragged, and his face showed marks of hunger and suffering. The young ladies noticed him, and seeing that his face rested against the hard window sill, one of them arose, and carefully raising his head, slipped her muff under it for a pillow. This act of love was observed by an old gentleman in the next seat who, without a word, held out a coin to the young lady, nodding toward the boy. After a moment’s hesitation she took it, and as she did so, another man handed her a coin; a woman across the aisle held out some pennies; and almost before the young woman realized what she was doing, she was taking a collection, every one in the car passing her something. Thus from the one gentle act there had gone out a wave of influence touching the hearts of all in the car. So it is with us. Not one deed is done without it carries an influence, either for good or for evil, to some other life, and not one word is spoken but it carries either a blessing or a curse to some other heart. O, how careful we should be! Let us not forget that there are other people; and they have hearts and souls as well as we. Let us always strive to make their burdens lighter and their lives brighter and happier. There is enough sorrow, disappointment, and grief in the world without our adding to it. Some one has said, “Our business with others is to help them to rise out of their faults. We are set together in life to make each other better.” Then let us never forget the other people, but always think before we speak one word or do one act, what its influences will be; and if it will not be a blessing, let us pause and leave that one word unspoken, that deed undone. Then, how can we make sure of having an influence that shall be only a blessing? “There is no way but by making our life pure and good. Just in the measure that we are filled with the Spirit of God and have the love of Christ in us, shall our influence be holy, and a blessing to the world.” Remember there are other people.