CHURCH FESTIVALS, FAIRS, ETC.
By Church Spectacles
Church festivals, levees, and fairs,
Whate'er their aim, are only snares.
They're deep-laid schemes to raise the wind,
Just suited to the carnal mind.
They serve as bribes to blind men's eyes,
As though t'indulge were sacrifice.
A festival implies a feast,
Attended with much fun and jest,
Where those who have the scrip to pay,
May eat and drink and joke and play.
At fairs they offer toys to sell,
With tricks to make them relish well,
In view of what they offer there,
'Twould pass for Bunyan's "Vanity Fair."
The same is true of their levees,
Designed the carnal mind to please;
Where rowdy, saint, and priest combine
To give the crowd "a first-rate time." They all are but religious sprees,
Got up the churches' debts to ease;
Where men may get their quarter's worth
Of fun and frolic, tricks, and mirth.
"Young folks," say they, "their sport will have,
And for the same they'll freely give;
We'd not curtail their liberty,
But save them by monopoly;
In that we'd regulate their fun,
And have it where we all may come,
And keep them from th' excess, you know,
To which young folks are apt to go.
Their money, too, we thus can save,
By offering what they're bent to have;
And using it for church debts too—
It proves a plan both apt and new.
In former days we would not dare
To have a church levee or fair;
But times have changed, and this you know,
Makes change of men and manners too." When they conclude to have a spree,
The church assemble and agree
To choose for aids each belle and beau,
Who draw the crowd where'er they go;
And always give a general call
To every sort, both great and small;
They advertise for such a night,—
"Admittance gained at candle-light."
They plead with them,—"Don't fail to come,
"You'll get your money's worth of fun.
Just pay your quarter at the door,—
'Tis worth the money four times o'er;
Ice-cream and oysters kept for sale,
Rich dainties served by charming belles;
Cool soda, too, the best in town,
With toys from twenty guineas down.
We've lotteries and grab-bags too,
An office here, with mail for you:
A gold ring cake—'tis rich and nice,—
We ask but fifty cents a slice.
And then if any wish to raffle,
With such desires we would not trifle,
If we the objects may present
For which your money shall be spent.
We think it proves an easy way
Of getting much with little pay;
And if a Bible be the prize,
We think no scruple should arise.
An able clown will sure be there,
And make you laugh all through the fair;
And music, too, will break the spell
With richest notes at intervals." Thus rowdy, priest, and saint profane
The house made sacred to God's name.
They make the church a banquet house,
Where all the rabble may carouse,
In pride and lust and tricks and fun,
Till ten at night, perhaps till one.
"Idolaters!" as Paul would say,
"Who eat and drink and rise to play."
They're "evil servants," saith the Lord,
"Who eat and drink with the drunken" horde.
Oh that they would one moment pause,
And see how they disgrace God's cause,
While worldly men may justly say,
"It seems that we're no worse than they."
Where are the saints of former days,
Who honor God in all their ways;
Who 'gainst such works their voices raise,
And spend their lives in prayer and praise;
Who in their closets can but grieve
While others make a den of thieves
Of churches, which were once the place
Where God displayed his saving grace;
Whose hearts are ever pained to see
The church and world get up a spree,
And call the rabble far and near,
To come and join in worldly cheer?
Where those watchmen, faithful, true,
Who sleep not all this dark night through;
Who see the danger from afar,
And promptly all the truth declare,
Unmoved by smiles or frowns of men,
Whoe'er they are, whate'er their clan!
Who love the flock and not the fleece;
Who'd rather work than take their ease;
Who'd rather serve than be a guest;
Who never swerve to please the rest;
Who love their Master and his way,
And never fret about the pay;
But faithful to their trust go on,
That they may hear the word—"well done."
—Church Spectacles.