TO THE WAITING AND TRIED ONES.
By John H. Waggoner
SINCE writing the short address through the REVIEW, on my personal matters, in August last, I have been reading some of the Testimonies in a careful manner, given to me in past years; and I find, somewhat to my surprise, that, looking at them in the light of recent trials and sorrows, they appear quite different from what they did when viewed under the circumstances and discouragements which created the necessity for their being given. Then, I looked at them with difficulties and temptations all standing in my way; then, also, my sympathies were perverted and my judgment swayed in proportion to the perversion of my sympathies; now, I look at them with the full weight of trial resting upon me consequent on such a perversion of my sympathy and judgment and a corresponding partial disregard of the instructions of the Testimonies. Then, I fainted at the rebuke of the Lord (see Heb. xii, 5), and sank in discouragement at the difficulties before me; now, I stand humbled before God, not only by what was thus given to me, but by that which he, in his inscrutable wisdom, has permitted to come upon me. Years ago I was admonished and warned that Satan would make strong efforts to silence my testimony for the truth. These admonitions I certainly did not appreciate. I deeply regret it, but freely confess it as a warning to others. To those who have expressed their pity for me in my trials, I would say, I am not worthy of it. Had I been more faithful to God, I believe I might have been protected from many evils, and preserved from many sorrows. Deeply humbled, I make my confession before God and his people. And again I would utter a word of warning to those for whom God has kindly cared in admonishing them by the testimonies of his Spirit: Be careful how you treat them; if you slight them it is at your peril. You may not realize nor even see the necessity for them; and, alas! for poor, fallen human nature, where we need them most, we realize it least; where we are most at fault, we are most blinded to our faults. "The heart is deceitful above all things." It is my great desire to redeem the time. Oh! I do want to be saved. I wish to be so refined and purified that I may be fitted and prepared to enjoy the purity and holiness of Heaven. I thank God for the consolations of his grace, which only are able to sustain the heart sinking under a burden of woe. I trust the Lord is not indifferent to my desires, but will hear my cries uttered before him both day and night, for the salvation of my family. May the Lord in his great goodness convert them all, and bring us all together, through all our trials and afflictions, to the enjoyment of his glorious kingdom. And of the members of my scattered family I would here ask, Who will strive, earnestly strive, to enter with me into the joy of our Lord, at our Saviour's coming?