Implicit Obedience

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Sep 24, 1914

Implicit Obedience

THE following incident has so much food for thought that I give it here. There is, however, a point or two I wish to refer to. The “sister-in-law” has the right viewpoint for the young child. Firmly, yet kindly, parents should require unquestioning obedience from the child. But as the years go by and the child reaches the period of developing reason, his reason should be appealed to. Perhaps not always but usually it is helpful to the parent who wants obedience to explain to the child why a certain course should be pursued. It also helps the child to develop his reasoning faculties. This recognition of the individuality of the child is right and proper, and is not inconsistent with the principle of requiring and cultivating implicit obedience.

“I spoke to a lady the other day of her sister-in-law, who is one of our neighbors. ‘How well she manages her four children without any nurse!’ I exclaimed. ‘She looks calm and untroubled, and yet I know she is delicate.’

“‘She is a woman of great decision of character,’ was the answer. ‘She never allows them to question what she says, and you know that saves a great deal of fret and worry.’

“The next morning I made a short call on the subject of our remarks. The lady came into the parlor, and, after shaking hands with me, turned to take a chair, and found that the two-year-old baby had followed her.

“‘Why, baby, I didn’t know you were here! Run out to brother.’

“‘No; me don’t want to.’

“‘O yes,’ was the smiling answer; ‘brother will play school with you!’

“The baby retreated slowly till she reached the middle of the room, and there she stood, with her finger in her mouth, eying her mother closely. The mother had turned in her chair away from me and was watching the baby smilingly. It was evident that the caller was entirely forgotten for the moment; it was of first importance that the baby should mind. I made a little note of the fact, too, that there was no ‘prunes and persimmons’ expression on the mother’s pretty face. She had simply spoken, and expected the baby to do as she said.

“‘No!’ burst from the baby.

“‘O, yes,’ said mamma, smiling; ‘brother is all ready to play with you!’

“The baby stood a moment longer, finger in her mouth, studying her mother’s face, and then ran out of the room. Then, and not until then, did the mother give me her attention.

“The incident made such an impression on me that I want to write it for young mothers. I began with the theory that the best way to bring up a child was to reason with him, and in that way teach him obedience. I abandoned that theory long ago, and wish now that I had never held it for a day. When ‘implicit obedience’ was brought to my mind I rejected it, largely because, under my new responsibility, I was newly conscious of my own fallibility.

“‘How can I,’ I would say to myself, ‘always know the right command to enforce?’ Now I say to myself, ‘Be as nearly right as you can, but go ahead.’ Implicit obedience, lovingly enforced, is the only way to bring up a child; and ‘eternal vigilance’ is its price.”