The Whisky School

Seventh-day Adventist Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Nov 2, 1882

The Whisky School.

Our liquor dealers' circulars talk of educating the public in the interest of liquor to prevent prohibitory laws.

The idea of whisky being an educator is interesting. Whisky turned school-master! That is good. Whisky is indeed an old professor, and has been engaged in the business of teaching for some centuries. He has many colleges and universities all over the land. All the States have at times granted him charters, and in many instances gave him magnificent endowments. Yes, whisky is a noted educator. Did you ever see his pupils? They all wear badges—red noses and bloated faces for one class, and pale faces and sunken cheeks for another. Whisky qualifies his graduates for business. He turns out thieves, murderers, wife beaters, and makes widows and orphans by thousands. It is a fine school—the pupils generally learn well and succeed in business. The tuition is pretty high. It costs everything one owns to graduate in the whisky school. We have known men to pay down all their money, land, fame, home, home comforts, wife and children, down even to the hungry babe, yes, give all in payment of his tuition in the whisky school. And then comes the degree, for whisky always confers on its graduates a doctorate—U. D., untimely death. This document is highly ornamented. It is written in the blood of wives and children by a pen of sorrow. A rattling skeleton, standing in fire and holding hissing serpents in each hand, which entwine the skeleton's neck and bite his heart, is the coat of arms inscribed on the terrible parchment. We prefer that our children should be trained in the school of prohibition.—Banner, Little Rock, Ark.