The Soul's Struggles and Victory by Mrs. J. E. Green

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Oct 26, 1916

The Soul's Struggles and Victory

By Mrs. J. E. Green

MRS. J. E. GREEN

“Not this, not this, my Lord! Some other cross give me to bear. This one so heavy is, I cannot take it up. How can I see my idols shattered, and my fondest hopes destroyed? How can I lay upon the altar this one thing which I have loved and cherished above all those other earthly treasure? Not this, not that is so this, O Lord! Some other, any other cross, I would be strong to bear.”

My soul thus cried in deep agony as I knelt at my Father's feet and prayed, “If it be possible, let this cup pass from me.” Then I heard a voice so sad and low saying, “What meaneth this? Didst thou not give thyself to me to be molded and fashioned as I will? Hast thou not prayed, ‘O make me, Lord, a vessel fit to be used by thee’? Hast thou not often said, ‘O Father, let the fires burn up my dross, only let them consume me not.’ Hast thou not laid on the altar thy life, thy friends, thy fairest name, thy dearest hopes, and all thy earthly store? Then why repine when I but take thee at thy word, when I but touch that which thou hast given to me? Thy heart is deceitful, and I only show thee how hollow are all thy protestations of loyalty to me. Thy words say, ‘All—take all, dear Lord, as pleaseth thee.’ But when I take thee at thy word, thou criest out, ‘Not this, not that! some other thing, O Lord; but this I cannot bear.’ I cannot purge thee from thy dross except I kindle the furnace fires. I cannot mold thee into form divine unless thou dost yield to the crushing, refining process that will remove nature's crude materials, that will not mix with heavenly things.”

Then there passed before my sight a vision of the tears and bloody sweat my Saviour shed for me, and my soul cried out, “O Lord, forgive. I know I am vile; I know I am earth-bound; I know I have my idols; but take them, Lord. Take all, even to my good name. Take me, O take me, and make me like my Saviour! Help me to follow in his footsteps until at last I shall reach his safe abode and see him as he is and be like him. O to be like him! O to see him as he is, not bowing ’neath the weight of sin and pain in Gethsemane, not dying on Calvary, but beautiful in glory now! And may I be like him!”

Lord, lead thou me on. Help me to bear each cross, endure each trial, part with all I have for thee. Only lead thou me on.

Madison, Wis.