Parental Responsibility by T. E. BOWEN

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Oct 19, 1916

Parental Responsibility

By T. E. BOWEN

T. E. BOWEN

LAX family government is one of the characteristics of the last days. Petted and indulged children are making life in many a home miserable. And the individual home is not alone the sufferer. The evil spreads, affecting many lives outside. On the other hand, a well-ordered home, where the children are respectful and obedient, radiates blessings near and far. It becomes a little oasis in the desert. The parents may hold no official honors, but heaven regards them among its valued treasures.

Petted and spoiled children will not be admitted into heaven. Its harmony and peace would be marred. Writing to a minister and his wife whose one child had been indulged until she was “guilty of acts of disobedience and passion” as many times in a day as her will was crossed, the Lord’s servant said: “Your child will never see the kingdom of God with her present habits and disposition. And you, her parents, will be the ones who have closed the gates of heaven before her.” Why this terrible condition? Mark well the reason: “In your blind and foolish fondness, you have both surrendered to your child. You have allowed her to hold the reins in her tiny fists, and she ruled you both before she was able to walk.”

No doubt this is not an isolated case, or the Lord would not have caused it to be written out. It was written, that it might be known how God regards this unsanctified child-ruleership over parents. Instead of parents using the mature judgment God has given them in wisely ruling their households, they become the subjects, sitting by and allowing the reins of government to remain in “tiny fists.” These fists may be small at first, but by and by they become larger; and then these parents wake up to see that that which seemed “cute” at first, develops into a lordship which makes their lives miserable indeed.

God wants us to love our children. He expects us to protect and care for them. It is the overindulgence, the failure to correct their imperfections, the failure to restrain and lead them into obedience, that the Spirit reproves.

I once knew the mother of a large family who carried a strap fastened to her waist; and as the result of its often severe use, the repeated wail of the culprit, accompanied by the angry voice of the mother, was frequently heard by the neighbors. Her children did not respect, love, nor obey her. To beat her children into submission and compliance was not truly “commanding” her household after her.

Again, I knew the only child in another family. He had been left quite largely to others to bring up, as the mother was called to the “larger work” of governing a school. This child’s voice might be heard nearly every night in a stubborn, wilful cry, as his wishes had been crossed in some manner. Perhaps his parents were guided by the modern maxim, “The child’s will must not be broken;” but during some fit of such stubborn, angry crying, the medicine of a tough little switch properly applied, not heeding the cry, would have been the very remedy to administer, and would have served to guide, bend, and direct the tender will of this three-year-old son into such shape that people might live with him in peace. To let such a disposition strengthen is a crime. And the responsibility to subdue it rests at the door of the parents. They have no greater task than this. “Do not feel that your own little one is more precious in the sight of God than other children.” This, however, is exactly what all overindulgent parents think, and herein lies the secret of their failure.

The Father in heaven has given parents an example to follow. He sent his only begotten Son into the world. He was not spoiled in his bringing up. He learned obedience. He was permitted to suffer real hardships. He toiled as other young men must toil to help their parents. His path was rougher than that of any other. But did not the Father love him? Ah! his love was seen in all the experience he gave his Son. “Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered; and being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him.”

Children trained from early childhood in the way in which they should go, will not depart from it, the Book says, in after-life. Moses, Samuel, Timothy, and others are examples left us of such training. This training began in infancy. Many fail by not beginning soon enough. God never designed that the reins should be in “tiny fists,” and parents be ruled by their children before the little ones are able to walk.