She Hadn’t Noticed

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Sep 28, 1916

She Hadn’t Noticed

“CORRECTION does much, but encouragement does more. Encouragement after censure is as the sun after a shower.”—Goethe.

That quotation popped into my head the other day when a little whirlwind of schoolgirl impulsiveness swept into her mother’s living-room, where we were sitting, greeted us, dumped an armful of books on the couch, flung a coat over a chair, and passed on upstairs.

When she came back into the room, her mother greeted her with a sigh: “Will you ever learn to be more orderly, Margaret? I thought you told me on your birthday that you were really going to try not to leave everything wherever you happened to be. And just look at that!”

The sunshine went out of Margaret’s blue eyes as she picked up the coat.

“But, mother, I did try.” “Indeed,” said her mother, “I hadn’t noticed it.”

“That’s just it, you never do,” flamed Margaret. “I know I’ve left some things around, but I’ve come in here every day with my coat and hat, and hung them up, and put my gloves away in the drawer. This is the first time since my birthday I’ve forgotten, and that’s most three weeks ago. You never notice it until I forget, and then you notice fast enough.”

“Margaret!” said her mother in a tone that could not be disregarded.

Margaret picked up the books, and turned quickly to leave the room, but not so quickly that I did not see the tears brimming in her eyes.

Poor little girl, she was learning one of life’s painful lessons—that even the best of us are prone to notice and complain when things annoy us, and take things for granted when they go smoothly.

I am afraid it is the exceptional parent who makes it a point to watch for and encourage the child’s first attempts to overcome a fault.

Nor is it parents alone who make this mistake. We all make it—with husbands and wives and other housemates of one sort or another, with the maid in the kitchen, the clerk in the office, in short, with all whose faults we try to correct, and whose progress we therefore ought to recognize.

Never correct one person in the presence of another.

Never use a superior air. Mention casually some similar fault of your own which you are trying to overcome.

Be reasonable. Talk quietly. Know what you are going to say before you speak, point out pleasantly and logically the harm the fault does.

Never nag.

And don’t forget to shed the sunshine of encouragement when you see the slightest opportunity. It is for your advantage as well as that of the person receiving correction.

These are a few rules for helping others to overcome their faults. And while you are concerned on the subject of faults, here’s one more “don’t”—Don’t forget your own.—Selected.