I Am Afraid by W. B. WHITE

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · May 25, 1916

“I Am Afraid”

W. B. WHITE

It was over in Basutoland, South Africa. The writer had been speaking in the little sod church at the Kolo Mission. The room was full of native Basutos, who had gathered in from the near-by villages, and the Spirit of God was present to convict hearts.

THE SOD CHURCH AT KOLO, BASUTOLAND, SOUTH AFRICA

At the close of the preaching service, we had a testimony meeting, and a goodly number of native believers spoke of their faith in God and in his truth for this time. At length there arose an old chief named Jacob, and standing up straight, he said, very deliberately, “I am afraid.” Then he went on to say that a few years ago he was greatly troubled with rheumatism, so much so that he could scarcely use his legs, and he was a great sufferer. He called the native doctors, and took their abundant medicines, but found no relief. Finally, in his extremity, he asked the great God in heaven to help him and relieve him of his suffering, promising that if his request was granted, he would serve God and do right.

“Well,” said the chief, “God heard my prayer, and in a little time the rheumatism left me, and I was well. But I failed to keep my promise, and soon forgot God. A few years later I got into trouble again, this time with a hard pain in the chest, and coughing, so I could not sleep nights. I called the doctors, but they could not help me. I was ashamed to ask anything again of the great God, but finally I did, promising him again that if he would hear me and send relief, I would lead a better life. A second time God relieved me of my trouble, but I sinned again right in the face of God, and did not do as I had promised him. I have gone on in sin, have not given up jollo [native beer], but have drunk it very much. I am afraid.” And the words came straight from the old chief’s heart.

I was urging the people to surrender to Christ and forsake sin, but this old black man was face to face with a difficulty that has troubled many others. He feared to make another trial. He wanted to serve God, he knew it was the right thing to do; but he knew that he was weak, and he feared to make another trial lest he would fall again, and this he did not want to do. We tried to point the old chief to the Source of strength, to the power that would keep him from falling, and we trust he may yet lay hold of it with all his heart.

But how many there are in more favored lands who are saying the same thing. They have made many mistakes in the past, have made many promises to God that they have not fulfilled, and now, when urged to yield all to Jesus and serve him, they say, as did old Chief Jacob, “I am afraid.” They fear they have not strength to stand, and in this hesitating attitude they sometimes remain for years. But there is power in God to keep the soul that is committed fully to him, and notwithstanding the many failures of the past we must press on to final victory.

South Africa: