Character Building in the Home
By Helen C. Conard
“SATAN finds some mischief still
For idle hands to do.” A common saying, and a true one! Idle boys and girls are not only in great danger themselves, but they are a menace to all other boys and girls with whom they come in contact. It is an imperative duty of parents to furnish work for their children and to teach them to do it in the best way. If at the same time they can be led to love their work, a great victory has been gained in the life of the child. It is easier to do the work oneself than to teach a child to do it, but do not yield to the temptation. Begin very early to place upon the child little burdens of responsibility suited to his years and strength, and use your ingenuity to make the tasks so pleasant that he will never think of their being irksome. Take the children into partnership and see how they will like it. But if you want your boy to grow into a man whose “word is as good as his bond,” see to it that you deal with him as he ought to deal with his fellows in later life. Habits of industry carefully instilled with all that it takes to instill these principles, will lead to frugality. It is not the industrious boy and girl who develop into spendthrifts. They early learn the value of time and money and the folly of squandering either in useless ways. But they must be taught to distinguish between stinginess and economy. Frugality has a twin sister, and her name is generosity. It is only the frugal who can afford to be generous. And here again the child must be taught the difference between generosity and prodigality. He must be taught the careful and judicious expenditure of money; but he must also be taught that the best things for which he gives his money will not yield him a return in kind. He does not expect to get money back when he gives for mission work, but he must not for that reason withhold his gifts; and whether or not he will withhold these depends upon the teaching of the parents and their example. And so trained from babyhood to all these good habits, your boy will be a manly boy; your girl will be a womanly girl. Your children will belong to the choice class of loyal “lifters,” and not to the contemptible class of limp “leaners.” They will be able to hold themselves erect physically, mentally, and morally. They will be self-reliant, able to look their parents squarely in the face, and later to look the world in the face, with that true independence which is the birthright of every man and woman. They will be fitted indeed to bear a pure gospel to the world; for their own lives will be a living demonstration of what that gospel can do for man. But what must the parents be all these years while the boy and girl are in training?—They must be what they want their children to become. And blessed of Heaven are the father and the mother who by the grace of God are sufficient for these things. “Home should be a place where cheerfulness, courtesy, and love abide; and where these graces dwell, there will abide happiness and peace. Troubles may invade, but these are the lot of humanity. Let patience, gratitude, and love keep sunshine in the heart, though the day may be ever so cloudy. In such homes angels of God abide.” “Let the husband and wife study each other’s happiness, never failing in the small courtesies and little kindly acts that cheer and brighten the life. Perfect confidence should exist between husband and wife. Together they should consider their responsibilities. Together they should work for the highest good of their children. Never should they in the presence of the children criticize each other’s plans or question each other’s judgment. Let the wife be careful not to make the husband’s work for the children more difficult. Let the husband hold up the hands of his wife, giving her wise counsel and loving encouragement.” “No barrier of coldness and reserve should be allowed to arise between parents and children. Let parents become acquainted with their children, seeking to understand their tastes and dispositions, entering into their feelings, and drawing out what is in their hearts. “Parents, let your children see that you love them, and will do all in your power to make them happy. If you do so, your necessary restrictions will have far greater weight in their young minds. Rule your children with tenderness and compassion, remembering that ‘their angels do always behold the face of My Father which is in heaven.’ If you desire the angels to do for your children the work given them of God, co-operate with them by doing your part.” “Brought up under the wise and loving guidance of a true home, children will have no desire to wander away in search of pleasure and companionship. Evil will not attract them. The spirit that prevails in the home will mold their characters; they will form habits and principles that will be a strong defense against temptation when they shall leave the home shelter and take their place in the world.”—“Ministry of Healing,” pages 303, 304. “It is by the youth and children of today that the future of society is to be determined, and what these youth and children shall be depends upon the home. To the lack of right home training may be traced the larger share of the disease and misery and crime that curse humanity. If the home life were pure and true, if the children who went forth from its care were prepared to meet life’s responsibilities and dangers, what a change would be seen in the world!”—Id., page 351.