She Should Marry a Minister

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Nov 21, 1912

She Should Marry a Minister

It is to be regretted that every minister who is inclined to preach long, tedious sermons (and long sermons are usually tedious ones) could not have for a wife the sensible woman referred to in the following extract, which we clip from the Reformed Church Messenger:—

“If I were a minister’s wife,” said a woman in the car, who was talking too loud not to be overheard, “you may rest assured I should take an interest—an active interest—in my husband’s work. I should say to him, ‘Richard, if you want to do well next Sunday, preach short! If you want your congregation to grow larger and larger, preach short! If you want to draw them to this church, that church, and the other, preach short! Always preach short! But, Richard, have something to say, always! Condense, condense, and condense; and then have an air about you as if time were worth something, and you could not afford to lose a minute of it.’”

“If on a Sunday morning he seemed to be in an extra amiable mood, I should venture to say, ‘Richard, dear, don’t be all day in giving out your notices! Don’t blink over them and clear your throat, and go poking through them as if you had never seen them before, and were pondering them in your mind as you call attention to them. Don’t, I beg you, Richard, read them straight forward, and then say them all over again backward! There is nothing so tiresome!’”

“I am not sure but some Sunday I should say, ‘Richard, if you get the least mite tedious to-day, I shall fuss with my bonnet strings as a warning. And when you say, “In conclusion,” don’t, for pity’s sake, go on until you reach a “Finally,” and after that “One word more,” or “Just another thought.” I do think it is such a mistake to try to tell all one knows in one sermon.’”

Just then the auditor was obliged to leave the car, but he could not help exclaiming to himself, “What a sensible woman!” It is to be hoped that some day this sensible one will marry a minister.

It would be wise for every preacher to take to heart and faithfully practise this wise counsel.