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Managing Children

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Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D.C. · Apr 18, 1912

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 89, No. 16.

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Managing Children

CHILDREN not only imitate our faults, and suffer by our carelessness, but govern us through our weaknesses. A friend came to visit me, and brought a generous, frank, and manly boy four years of age; but he disturbed our whole circle by his constant crying. This habit was not in keeping with the brave, proud, independent character of the child; I therefore felt a curiosity to find the cause. My first discovery was, he never shed a tear.
His mother wished to take a trip, but could not take her boy.
“Leave him with me.”
“He’ll torment the life out of you.”
“I don’t think so.”
“I will, indeed, be most grateful. You may whip him as often as you please.”
“I should not strike a child, except in a most extreme case.”
“Then you can do nothing with him.”
She had gone. The next morning after breakfast Willie asked,—
“May I go and play in the yard?”
“It rained last night, and it’s too damp now. You may go at ten, not before.”
“Boohoo, hoo”—rest. I kept quietly sewing.
“Boohoo, hoo”—bass. “Boohoo, hoo”—tenor. I sewed on. “Boohoo, hoo”—double bass. “Boohoo, hoo”—falsetto—rest.
“Now may I go?”
“You may go at ten o’clock.”
Concert repeated, I silently sewing the while.
“Ain’t your head ’most ready to split?”
“No.”
“Mayn’t I go out now?”
“Not until ten o’clock.”
Concert resumed—rest.
“Ain’t you ’most crazy?”
“No, not at all.”
Concert resumed, with the addition of throwing himself on the floor, and knocking his feet up and down. After a while: “Ain’t you ’most crazy yet? Why don’t you shake me, and call me the baddest boy that ever was, and send me out-of-doors?”
“Because you are not going out until ten o’clock.”
Concert resumed, with the addition of bumping his head as well as his toes—a pause. Then picking himself up, he stood erect before me, with his hands in his pockets.
“Why don’t you whip me, and send me off to get rid of my noise?”
“Because you are not going out until ten o’clock.”
He stood a moment.
“If I bump my head, ain’t you afraid it will kill me?”
“Not in the least.”
“But it does hurt me awfully.”
“I am happy to hear it.”
He drew a long breath.
“What can I do next? I’s done all I knows how.”
“See if you can not think of something else.”
“May I take my blocks?”
“Certainly.”
At nine he started up: “Now may I go?”
“That’s nine.”
He went back to his blocks without a murmur.
At ten he went out.
It had been his custom to kneel by his mother, say his prayers, and hop into bed. I wished him to kneel with me, by the bed, and say his prayers slowly, and then I would make a short prayer for him. The arrangement did not please him; so the third night he gave battle. Being tired, my head did feel as if it could not, or rather would not, bear it. Out of all patience, I determined to give him a good whipping; but never having struck a child, I was not quite hardened enough to take my slipper, and could not see anything else. As I looked around, a voice, my God speaking through my conscience, asked, “What! whip in anger? whip a little boy because he can not govern his spirit, when you can not govern your own? Another than the boy needs to be prayed for.” And, kneeling, I asked my Father to give me his strength, his grand patience, with a disobedient, self-willed child. As I kneeled, Willie crawled under my arm, and commenced to say his prayers very slowly, and kept still while I prayed a few words, and then asked,—
“Now mayn’t I pray myself?”
“Yes, darling.”
And these were his words: “I’s a real mean little boy. She won’t do nothing ugly a bit, and I’s made her head ’most to split. O God, don’t let me be a mean little boy any more at all.”
The splendid little fellow had had a fair trial of strength, and was conquered, and surrendered manfully; and I had no further trouble nor annoyance during the seven weeks he stayed with me.
But how nearly I lost my vantage-ground! If we would rule our own spirits, how easy it would be to govern children properly.—Congregationalist.