MRS. LUELLA B. PRIDDY by Luella B. Priddy

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Mar 3, 1910

MRS. LUELLA B. PRIDDY

By Luella B. Priddy

Talks With a Nervous Mother — No. 1

MRS. LUELLA B. PRIDDY

I SEE that you are suffering again with one of your headaches, Mrs. Allison. The tense expression on your face shows that your nerves are crying out for rest, but here you are working as if life depended on getting a certain amount of work done in a given length of time. You are making a mistake, Mrs. Allison.

You have made your plans for the day, and you have marked out a larger program than a woman of your strength should do, and now you worry for fear you will not be able to carry it out. Suppose a visitor should chance to come to see you, and the pillow-shams were not starched and ironed, or the dinner was less elaborate than you had planned to have it; you need not let that spoil your day.

Do not let other people be your standard. They do not care so much about the little details of your housekeeping. Mrs. Carter had a caller the other day, and she apologized about the appearance of her parlor. Her couch was strewn from end to end with doll clothes. Not far away sat a sweet-faced little girl, with her dolly in her arms, and her playthings around her. She was having a good time. Mrs. Carter’s embarrassment was entirely unnecessary; for her visitor, who was not so fortunate as to own a little girl, was thinking, “What a beautiful scene that corner of the room would make for a photograph!” Housekeeping does not all consist in keeping one’s sofa pillows with an air of unused primness, tilted at the correct angle.

Many women of the present generation are not so strong as their grandmothers were. If they do their duty by their families, they will have to dispense with some of the ruffles and tucks and lace borders of life. Make a sharp distinction between unwholesome dirt and clean litter, or a little disorder that may come where there is a family of frolicsome boys and girls.

I hope that you will not take Mrs. Dale as a model. She may rank high as a housekeeper, but as a home maker she is a great failure. One day she said, “I never allow my children to play in the house; they litter up things so.” There was a lonesome little figure out on the porch, a sad baby face pressed against the screen door, and a pitiful voice was pleading for the privilege of coming in where mother was; but there was no answer to the plaintive plea. Mrs. Dale wanted to get that large ironing done before dinner time, and baby was in the way, so she hooked the screen door to keep the child out.

Mrs. Dale’s children, left so much to themselves, are becoming selfish and artful, while she is steeling her heart against those gentle amenities that make life worth living, that she may do a little more work. With her nerves worn down to the quick with incessant toil, she does not feel good natured, and her children suffer from the venom of an unbridled tongue. Her pale face shows that she is dying of hard work and a lack of soul-sunshine.

A woman who has the care of a family should jealously guard her strength. It is her capital stock. Teach the children to help you. By careful training they will soon be able to lighten your burdens. Be explicit in explaining to them just how you wish to have things done, so that they understand it. Do not expect too much at first. We may read of model children who have to be told but once, but most children are like most grown people, in that they need “precept upon precept; line upon line.”

Do not notice every little failure. When Sunnylocks sets the table, it is not always wise to mar her joy because the table-cloth goes on a trifle awry. Adjust these things where you can, and another time lay on the cloth yourself, and call the child’s attention to the way you do it, commenting on how nice it looks to see the cloth spread on evenly. She will learn how to do it better with a little practise, and if you do not scold, she will do her tasks more willingly. Even if the work is not done perfectly, you can praise her willingness to help you. Continually finding fault with a child’s work, discourages him. Children often think that it is no use to try to please their parents.

At first a child does not notice the small details of his work. Time and careful teaching will remedy this. But in the meantime, have patience, tired mother. Drop that feeling of worried carefulness, and enjoy the society of your children, even if everything is not ideal.

Ellesmere, Ontario.