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The Child With a Temper

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Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Dec 16, 1909

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 86, No. 50.

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The Child With a Temper

By Mrs. Luella B. Priddy

MRS. LUELLA B. PRIDDY
WHAT shall we do with the child with a temper? In the first place, let us not be discouraged with him. He may have an abundance of energy that needs directing into profitable channels.
Avoid unnecessary causes of irritation. “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Col. 3:21.
A young mother was scrubbing her kitchen floor. Her little son, true to the instincts of childhood, wished to do what she did. He obtained a piece of cloth, and was industriously applying it to the floor, when his mother discovered what he was doing. She hastily took the cloth from his hand, and told him to stop slopping water on the floor. Grieved and angered, he could do nothing but obey. Being driven from that occupation, his active little mind began to search for something else to do. His next attempt was as summarily thwarted. Several such scenes followed, until the child was frantic, and the nervous, delicate mother was discouraged.
All this trouble might have been avoided. A little thought would have convinced the mother that the child was doing no great harm. A gentle admonition not to put on too much water would probably have been heeded, and the little fellow would have been happy in the thought that he was helping mother.
If the child is doing the wrong thing, suggest another task to his mind, making the desired occupation appear attractive to him, that he may want to do it. Avoid arousing antagonism by the giving of unnecessary orders. Some children resent being continually told to do things; it seems so much nicer to do them of one’s own accord. One mother, to prevent this difficulty, would say something like this, “My wood-box is empty. Now, I shall have an opportunity to see who loves me.” This little ruse usually resulted in a good-natured scamper for the wood-shed.
When the child’s tasks are cheerfully done, let him know that his efforts are appreciated. Drop a gentle hint occasionally that it is a great help to have a boy or girl who notices when the water-pail needs filling, who can see when the coal-scuttle is empty, etc. It will foster a habit of doing things without being told, which will be of great value to the child in after-life, and prevent many unnecessary conflicts.
The nervous system of children is more susceptible to irritation than that of adults. The baby is cross when suffering from some slight ailment. Right physical conditions are great promoters of amiability.
A wholesome, unstimulating diet, partaken of at regular intervals, a clean and healthy skin, comfortably fitting clothing evenly distributed over the body, all tend to a contented state of mind. A child carelessly fed, until he is suffering the distress of indigestion, or one who is clad in clothing made in such a manner that one garment fails to connect with another, exposing the tender limbs to the severity of the weather, thus inducing colds, and making the eyes and nose unfailing fountains, would be almost more than human if he were not ill natured.
The observing mother will often notice that the children are more irritable and difficult to govern after a day of hard visiting and play with little friends. Of course they should not be deprived of all such pleasures, but they often need guarding against playing to the limit of exhaustion.
After every effort on our part has been made,—and it is necessary to make wholesome restrictions,—if the child rebels, what shall we do? Do not attempt that which is impossible. You can insist upon obedience, but you can not always prevent his being angry. On such occasions the parent requires the utmost self-control. Suppose that Nellie has been asked to sweep the floor, and she responds with, “I don’t want to,” or, “I won’t do it.” Let the mother go quietly about her work, saying nothing, but lifting up her heart to the Father in heaven for the child. Nellie will soon discover that she has nothing to battle against, and she will usually conclude that it is best to do what she has been told. In such cases, if the parent begins by arguing the question, the child follows with excuses, and a disagreeable habit of contention develops.
The Holy Spirit is the one great subduing influence that brings an atmosphere of peace into the home. When an evil angel is contending for the soul of the child, let not the parent add to the difficulty by bringing another evil angel who is getting the victory over her. The temptation is often great to do too much talking, and too little praying.
“The children don’t like it when papa talks religion to them,” said a young girl, the older sister of a large family. Undoubtedly the religious talks had been administered as a punishment when they were naughty. They could not enjoy the threatenings of divine wrath under those circumstances. When the children are in an agreeable frame of mind, kindly talk with them about their faults, and teach them to go for help to the one who is able to help them overcome sin.
Many good people have had tempers that only divine grace could subdue. The Lord is able to make those traits that we call temper and stubbornness develop into zeal for the right, and fortitude that will not yield to discouragement, nor succumb to difficulties.
Ellsmere, Ontario.