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Relation of Parents to Teachers

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Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Jan 9, 1908

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 85, No. 2.

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Relation of Parents to Teachers

By G. B. Thompson

UNITY and co-operation are fundamental factors in making any work a success. Union is strength; division is weakness. “United we stand; divided we fall.”
We can think of no kind of work where union is more necessary than that of training the youth. Between the parents and the teacher the closest union and co-operation certainly should be maintained. Without this nothing permanent will be accomplished. I do not understand that the church-school is designed to do the work of the parent. It is not a reformatory, to which petted, spoiled, and ungovernable children are to be sent to be trained and brought into subjection. This is the work of parents in the home. The church-school is an auxiliary to the home and to the work of parents, and can render great assistance in the tremendous task resting upon parents of fashioning in their children, in the midst of a wicked generation, a character after the divine similitude. The home and the school must work together. United they become strong agencies for the salvation of the children. But unless there is co-operation in the home, the teacher will have a hard task, and but little, if any, good will be accomplished.
It is comparatively easy for parents to undo in the home the work of the best church-school teacher in the denomination. We concede the fact that you have good children, better than any of your neighbors, near or afar off. You can see no defect in them. It is hardly to be expected that you should. Love is said to be blind. But in spite of the lovely traits of character and the sweet disposition which your child has inherited, and the splendid environments with which you have always surrounded him, it is within the bounds of possibility that in the schoolroom he might need correction. My child? — Yes; impossible as it may be for you to see how, your child might need to be chastised by the teacher. If this should occur, do not lose your temper or get impatient. Do not take him out of the school, and have him educated in a worldly school. The following Sabbath when you see the teacher at Sabbath-school, do not frown and look black and hateful, and pass down the other aisle so you will not have to speak, or even nod at him. Do none of these wicked things. Be a Christian. Instead of criticizing the teacher, and giving the child some unwise sympathy, help the teacher in his work. One way you can do this is to signify to your child that you entirely approve of the discipline administered, and that, if it is necessary for the teacher to do so again, you will help him.
Again: don't censure the teacher in the home. Much of this is done, not only in the matter of church-school teachers, but of Sabbath-school teachers, and preachers also. Some may go from this meeting and do so. Meal-time furnishes a splendid opportunity for this work, as all the family are generally present then, and it is usually thought essential that they hear what you have to say about things. The spirituality of many a home has been permanently wrecked in this way. Beware of this. Parents should not allow a single word of criticism concerning the teacher to pass their lips, especially in the presence of their children. Commend rather than condemn.
Your teacher is human, and you can easily see imperfections. But, you say, Am I to approve of everything, and say nothing? — Not necessarily; but there is a right way, as well as a wrong way, to do this. If you have a grievance, or see something which, in your judgment, should be corrected, go to the teacher alone. Likely he will thank you for it. Talk the matter over with him like a Christian. Do not allow yourself to gossip to others concerning the frailties of the teacher, but prayerfully point out to him wherein you think he is making a blunder. And when in the presence of others, do not stab him in the back with some unkind criticism, but be his friend; stand by him, and uphold his work. Whatsoever things are lovely and of good report, think and speak of these things. This will bring a blessing to you, to the teacher, to the church, and to the school. And it might not be out of place to suggest that we should be as free to speak to the teacher of things that we can commend as we are to criticize. It is not necessary to conclude that he will become lifted up with pride and fall into the condemnation of the devil, if he should hear from some parent that his work is giving satisfaction, and is being blessed of God to the good of his children.
On the other hand, the teacher should do his best to co-operate with the parents of the pupils. He should show himself worthy of their confidence, and seek in every way possible to win their love. “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.” So far as possible he should visit the homes of his pupils, and become acquainted with the parents, and with the peculiar conditions and environments of every pupil. It will help over many a hard place to have the teacher come to the home, and before leaving bow with parents and children and pray for the Lord to bless the home. If suggestions are made by parents or others, be thankful for them. The highest qualification a teacher can possess is to be teachable. If some reforms are suggested, do not regard them as criticisms. Sensitiveness is a great evil. It is selfishness in the most malignant form. It has been aptly defined as “conceit with a hair trigger,” and is as dangerous when possessed by the teacher as by the parent. This spirit of sensitiveness, and magnifying of atoms till they appear as mountains, has in some instances resulted in an alienation and estrangement, between parents and teachers, and in the end practically wrecked the success of the school.
In conclusion, I urge that that love which “suffereth long, and is kind,” that “seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked,” and “thinketh no evil,” that “beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things,” be the motto of every parent and of every teacher. Then the “peace of God, which passeth all understanding,” will rule in the heart, in the home, and in the school, and many of the children and youth for whom the enemy has set snares will be saved and trained for a place in the work of God.
G. B. THOMPSON.