Child Culture by Mrs. Jessie H. Warren

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Takoma Park Station, Washington, D. C. · Dec 13, 1906

Child Culture

By Mrs. Jessie H. Warren

MRS. JESSIE H. WARREN

The subject of child culture is one which should be of interest to every one, but more especially to parents, as they are the ones upon whom the responsibility of child training principally falls.

Let us consider for a moment the meaning of the word “culture.” One definition is: Attention and labor given to growth, especially with a view to improvement. It also means to educate or refine. Culture, then, includes both teaching and training. A child must be taught what he does not know, or that which is beyond himself; and he must be trained to develop the principles taught, and also to develop and control his natural faculties and powers. As parents, our endeavor should be to teach and train our children in the right direction; for they will learn evil as easily as good, and be trained in the wrong way as well as in the right. Proper training will subdue the evil tendencies, and develop and improve the good.

The one great principle in the training of children is to prepare them for their life-work—to enable them to become strong, independent, and self-reliant men and women. In order to accomplish this, it is necessary to teach them self-control, self-denial, and the necessity of the performance of duty, and courage to do what duty requires. Then train them according to this standard.

Self-control is of the utmost importance all through life; and unless we learn it in childhood, we are indeed unfortunate. A child should be taught not to give way to tears for every little pain, or for every childish sorrow. Teach him that such things will happen many times, and that he must learn to bear them patiently. But let us never ridicule the sorrows of childhood, for they are as real to the child as are our own to us, but with sympathy help the children to control their grief. A child should not be allowed to display anger. How often we see small children kick and scream because they can not have their own way! And how often, too, do parents laugh at these demonstrations! But what a serious mistake! Children should not be allowed to show their anger by passionate outbursts, but be taught to control the temper and bring it into subjection.

Self-denial is another thing hard for a child to learn, but if learned in childhood, the way through life will be made much easier. A child who is indulged in every way—in dress, in appetite, and in pleasures, and who has no wish ungratified (though the parents may think they are doing the best they can for their child)—is poorly prepared for the disappointments of after years, which will certainly come. Better to train him in youth to deny self for the sake of others, and for his own welfare.

We hear much about breaking the child’s will, conquering him, and making him to know who is in authority. But we would say rather, bend or train the will in harmony with the parent’s will. Teach the child to will to do right instead of wrong. It is best never to force a direct issue with a child. That is only a conflict of wills in which one or the other must win, and whichever way it terminates, is a sad failure. It is only a question of brute force. If the parent conquers the child, he has broken its will, but no good has been accomplished. A child’s will is his power, his personality, his individuality. It should be guided, not broken. When once broken, he has lost to a great extent his power and personality. If we have a vine which we wish to have climb or run on a trellis, what do we do? We bend and twist the twigs until they begin to grow in the direction we desire to have them. But if, instead of this, we should break off every twig that started in the wrong direction, what would we have? Surely not the beautiful climbing vine we so much admire. Then how much more should we be gentle and tender in the training of the little human plants which God has entrusted to our care!

To train a child in the way he should go, we must furnish proper environments—good books, good companions, and proper amusements and recreations. We must teach him courtesy to all, and especially to the aged. In no way can this better be done than by our own example.

There is one place in the training of children where must should have a part, and that is in the performance of duty. Teach them that duties which devolve upon them must be performed, whether the task is pleasing or not.

A few words now in regard to punishments and rewards. It is well to give a child the chance to choose, to exercise his own free will. He may choose to do right, and thus win our approval; or he may choose to do wrong, and receive our disapproval. Punishments should be administered only as a penalty for wilfully doing wrong. This is God’s method in dealing with us, his children. He says, “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing;” also, “Choose you this day whom ye will serve;” and, “The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life.” He has created us equal and with free wills to choose for ourselves whether we will do right and have eternal life, or do evil and receive eternal death.

Let us strive as far as possible to deal with our children as God in his wisdom deals with us; and if led by him, we shall not err in the principles of true child culture.