Some Excuses for Drinking by John Bartholomew Gough

International Tract and Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Oct 1, 1885

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 11, No. 37.

Some Excuses for Drinking.

By John Bartholomew Gough

"It is a very cold day to-day, I shiver from head to foot; I must have a little something because it is so cold, and I need it." Or, "It is very hot to-day. Dear me! such weather as this swelters a man to death; I must have something to keep me up in such hot weather; I need it." Another man drinks a little in summer time because there are insects in the water, and spirits kill them. Another thinks he needs something in winter time because it is so hurtful to drink cold water. Another man is very ill; for eighteen years he has taken the same remedy, and he will go and try a little more of it. Another is tolerably well, but the weather-glass is falling, and the last time the wind was in that quarter it gave him a terrible pain; he needs something as a preventive, and he will try it once more. This reminds me of the man who wanted some brandy and water. "I must have it this morning," he said, "because I am so thirsty, but what makes me thirsty I do not know, unless it is that I am going to have some salt fish for dinner." One man said he would sign the pledge if they would let him drink when they washed sheep, that being usually done only once a year. He took the pledge accordingly, and obtained a sheep which he kept in his barn and washed regularly four times a day all the year round, till he washed the poor creature nearly to death. I heard a man say that because he heard a sentiment advanced at a temperance meeting that he did not like, he went home and began drinking again. That was just as silly as the boy that said, "Mother, if you don't give me a penny, I know another boy that's got the measles, and I'll go and catch 'em." We have to meet with many such contemptible excuses for drinking.

One obstacle to our success is the tenacity with which some persons cling to the fashionable drinking customs. I know but little of the custom of persons at table "taking wine together," though I know enough to be aware of what it is. It is a silly custom. You smile at a lady and ask her to take wine. She smiles and bows. The waiter then fills her glass and fills yours. Then you take the wineglass in your hand, and smile. You must smile. Even if you have the toothache very badly, you must smile. It may be an agonizing smile, but you must smile. Then she smiles and bows and sips, and you smile and bow and sip, then both smile and bow together, and it is all over. Now, suppose I should ask the lady, "May I take a small piece of bread and butter with you?" She bows and smiles. The waiter gives her a piece of bread and butter, and I take a piece; and she takes her piece of bread and butter, and smiles and bows and bites; I do the same, and while we both masticate, we smile and bow together. It would be perfectly ridiculous, but not more so than this custom of drinking and bowing and smiling over a glass of wine, and far less injurious. It does not, and cannot, hurt a man or woman to eat a small piece of bread and butter, but it may do a vast deal of harm to take a glass of wine. I do not say it will, but it may. There is a risk.—Gough.