Misapplied Wit by Uriah Smith

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Jan 30, 1872

Misapplied Wit.

By Uriah Smith

In the following lines, the poet, O. W. Holmes, attempts to be very witty at the expense of believers in the second coming of Christ. He heads them, “Latter-day Warnings,” a heading which is, in one respect, very appropriate; for Paul foretold that in the last days scoffers should appear:—

When legislators keep the law, When banks dispense with bolts and locks, When berries, whortle—rasp—and straw— Grow bigger downward through the box— When he that selleth house or land Shows leak in roof or flaw in right— When haberdashers choose the stand, Whose window hath the broadest light— When preachers tell us all they think, And party leaders all they mean— When what we pay for, that we drink, From real grape and coffee-bean— When lawyers take what they would give, And doctors give what they would take— When city fathers eat to live, Save when they fast for conscience’ sake— When one that hath a horse on sale Shall bring its merits to the proof Without a lie for every nail That holds the iron on the hoof— When in the usual place for rips Our gloves are stitched with special care, And guarded well with whalebone tips Where first umbrellas need repair— When Cuba’s weeds have quite forgot The power of suction to resist, And claret bottles harbor not Such dimples as would hold your fist— When publishers no longer steal, And pay for what they stole before— When the first locomotive’s wheel Rolls through the Hoosac tunnel bore— Till then, let Cumming blaze away, And Miller’s saints blow up the globe; But when you see that blessed day, Then order your ascension robe.

The foregoing lines afford ample proof that learning and genius are no substitute for grace. The effect of a cultivated mind on a person whose heart is filled with mockery, is, not to lead him to reverence sacred things, but to enable him to scoff in more polished sentence and smoother phrase, or even, as in this instance, to send forth his muse on an errand of mockery at some of the most solemn truths of the word of God. But the most singular feature of these lines, is the utter misapprehension which they reveal. When all these evils which he so graphically describes are put away from among men, then, says Mr. Holmes, we may expect the end; and his language very plainly implies that the end is not to be expected till this is brought about; whereas the word of God declares that this very state of things, which he acknowledges exists, this utter lack of principle, this all-absorbing selfishness, are the very things that indicate that an incorrigibly apostate race are near the close of their rebellious career. Thus the very signs of the end, which are given to arouse men to a sense of their danger, are, by a piece of satanic legerdemain, transformed into soothing opiates to lull them into a still deeper feeling of carnal security and repose.

Our Lord, in Matt. 13, says that the wheat

and tares shall grow up together till the harvest, and that the harvest is the end of the world. Joel (3:13) says that this harvest comes on account of the wickedness of the people; “Put ye in the sickle, for the harvest is ripe; come get you down for the press is full, the fats overflow; for their wickedness is great. Multitudes, multitudes, in the valley of decision; for the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision.” Our Lord again says, Matt. 24:12, that just before the end iniquity shall abound, and the love of many shall wax cold. And Paul says, 2 Tim. 3:1–5, that in the last days men shall be lovers of themselves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, and so on, through thirteen other dark particulars. And as it was in the days of Noah, when the land was filled with violence, and in the days of Lot, when it was filled with lust, so shall it be when the Son of Man shall come. Luke 17:26–29. Yet men say, Wait till all these evils are overcome by that gentleness, goodness, faith, and purity which are the fruit of the Spirit, before you have any fears that the end is near. Alas! that, before this unfortunate generation, the chances for eternal ruin so infinitely outnumber the probabilities of their salvation, and alas! that any should, under these circumstances, deliberately lend their powers to mislead the minds of men, and thus hinder them from receiving the truth that they might be saved.

U. S.