TRAINING IN DECISION

Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Battle Creek, Mich. · Apr 24, 1900

TRAINING IN DECISION.

Congregationalist.

“Do you think I shall need my jacket, mother?” asked a young woman setting out on an autumn walk with her mother. “I don’t know. I can’t judge for you,” was the reply, as the older woman buttoned her own garment closer, and started down the road. A moment’s pause—then the girl turned back with a prudent air, saying, “Perhaps I had better take it,” and hurried in for the wrap.

An observer who stood on the piazza, shivering in the sharp air, was surprised and rather shocked at the mother’s seeming indifference; but the more she thought about the little scene, the more she came to recognize the parent’s wisdom in dealing with her grown daughter, who, at twenty, was certainly old enough to take care of herself. Had the girl been ordered to carry the jacket, she would no doubt have remonstrated, and, perhaps, fretted at the burden. At least, her laziness would have been spared even this small decision. As it was, with prudent foresight and memory of past colds, she settled the question as wisely as her mother could wish.

How many parents could have refrained from advice? How many would have thrown the responsibility on the girl instead of treating her like a child?—Not many. Yet upon such a course depends good feeling and good comradeship between half-grown daughter and mother, son and father, as well as that cultivation of self-dependence and strong individuality so important in later life.

SELF-RELIANCE.

The world has little respect for the man or woman who avoids making decisions, and is constantly subject to another’s will or opinion. It admires, on the other hand, those who know their own mind, and are not afraid to express it when occasion demands. But self-reliance is a quality that comes by cultivation and experience. Young people must be trained very early to think and decide for themselves. When they are mere children, parents may place alternatives before them, and let them learn by experience the wisdom or unwisdom of their choice. They may be given small responsibilities that will develop self-confidence. By being trusted in many little ways, they may learn self-respect.

In point of fact, the average parents do too much for their children. They plan for them, work for them, supply their wants, bear their burdens, and wish to shield them from all that is disagreeable or evil. Sons and daughters have no opportunity to become strong so long as they are treated like infants. Overzealous parents must be made to realize that they are producing weak, clinging, vacillating men and women, unable to stand alone, and incompetent for the battle of life. Surely we should all choose to be, and to have our children become, the strong-minded ones who are sought as confidants and counselors, and have learned not only to live their own lives, but to give strength and support to their neighbors.