Mrs. Ellen G. White by Ellen G. White

Pacific Seventh-day Adventist Publishing Association · Oakland, California · Mar 16, 1876

Mrs. Ellen G. White.

By Ellen G. White

HER LIFE, CHRISTIAN EXPERIENCE, AND LABORS.

For six months not a cloud intervened between me and my Saviour. Whenever there was a proper opportunity I bore my testimony, and was greatly blessed. At times the Spirit of the Lord rested upon me with such power that my strength was taken from me. This was a trial to some who had come out from the formal churches, and remarks were often made that grieved me much. Many could not believe that one could be so overpowered by the Spirit of God as to lose all strength. My position was exceedingly painful. I began to reason with myself whether I was not justified in withholding my testimony in meeting, and thus restrain my feelings when there was such an opposition in the hearts of some who were older in years and experience than myself.

I reasoned that repressing my testimony would not hinder me from faithfully living out my religion. I adopted this plan of silence for a time. I often felt strongly impressed that it was my duty to speak in meeting, but refrained from doing so, and was sensible of having grieved the Spirit of God. Sometimes I even remained away from meetings that I knew would be attended by those who were annoyed by my testimony. I shrank from offending my brethren; but in this I allowed the fear of men to break up that uninterrupted communion with God which had blessed my heart for so many months.

We had appointed evening prayer-meetings in different localities of the city to accommodate all who wished to attend them. The family who had been most forward in opposing me attended one of these. Upon this occasion, while those assembled were engaged in prayer, the Spirit of the Lord came upon the meeting, and one of the members of this family was prostrated as one dead. His relatives stood weeping around him, rubbing his hands and applying restoratives. At length he gained sufficient strength to praise God, and quieted their fears by shouting with triumph over the marked evidence he had received of the power of the Lord upon him. This young man was unable to return home that night.

This was believed by the family to be a demonstration of the Spirit of God, but did not convince them that it was the same divine power that rested upon me at times, robbing me of my natural strength, and filling my soul with the unbounded peace and love of Jesus. They were free to say that not a doubt could be entertained of my sincerity and perfect honesty, but they considered me deceived in taking that for the power of the Lord which was only the result of my own over-wrought feelings.

My mind was in great perplexity, in consequence of this opposition, and, as the time drew near for our regular meeting, I was in doubt whether or not it was best for me to attend it. For some days previous I had been in great distress on account of the feeling manifested towards me. Finally I decided not to go, and thus escape the criticism of my brethren. In trying to pray I repeated these words again and again, “Lord, what wilt thou have me to do?” The answer that came to my heart seemed to bid me trust in my Heavenly Father and wait patiently to know his will. I yielded myself to the Lord with the simple trust of a little child, remembering that he had promised that those who follow him shall not walk in darkness.

My duty impelled me to go to the meeting. I went with the full assurance in my mind that all would be well. While we were bowed before the Lord, my heart was drawn out in prayer and filled with a peace that only Christ can give. My soul rejoiced in the love of the Saviour, and my physical strength left me. With child-like faith I could only say, “Heaven is my home, and Christ my Redeemer.”

One of the same family whom I have mentioned as being opposed to the manifestations of the power of God upon me, stated on this occasion, that he considered I was under an excitement which he thought it my duty to resist, but instead of doing so he thought I encouraged it, as a mark of God’s favor. His doubts and opposition did not affect me at this time, for I seemed shut in with the Lord, and lifted above all outward influence. But he had scarcely stopped speaking when a strong man, a devoted and humble Christian, was struck down by the power of God before his eyes, and the room was filled with the Holy Spirit.

Upon recovering sufficiently, I was very happy in bearing my testimony for Jesus, and in telling of his love for me. I confessed my lack of faith in the promises of God, and that I had checked the promptings of his Spirit from fear of men, but that, notwithstanding my distrust, he had bestowed upon me unlooked-for evidence of his love and sustaining grace. H— P—, the brother who had opposed me, rose, and with many tears, confessed his error in regard to me, that his feelings had been all wrong. He humbly asked my forgiveness. Said he, “Sister Ellen, I will never again lay a straw in your way. God has shown me the coldness and stubbornness of my heart, and he has broken it by the evidence of his power. I have been very wrong. When sister Ellen seemed so happy I would think, Why don’t I feel like that? Why don’t brother R—— receive some such evidence? for I felt that he was a devoted Christian, yet no such power had fallen upon him. I offered a silent prayer that, if this was the holy influence of God, brother R—— might experience it this evening.”

“Almost as the desire went up from my heart, brother R—— fell, prostrated by the power of God, crying, ‘Let the Lord work!’ My heart is convinced that I have been warring against the Holy Spirit, but I will grieve it no more by stubborn unbelief. Welcome, light! Welcome, Jesus! I have been backslidden and hardened, feeling offended if any one praised God and manifested a fullness of joy in his love; but now my feelings are changed, my opposition is at an end, Jesus has opened my eyes, and I may yet shout his praises myself. I have said bitter and cutting things of sister Ellen, that I sorrow over now, and pray for her forgiveness as well as all who are present.”

Brother R—— then bore his testimony. His face was lighted with the glory of Heaven, as he praised the Lord for the wonders he had wrought that night. Said he, “This place is awfully solemn because of the presence of the Most High. Sister Ellen, in future you will have our help and sustaining sympathies, instead of the cruel opposition that has been shown you. We have been blind to the manifestations of God’s Holy Spirit.”

There had never been a question as to my perfect sincerity, but many had thought me young and impressible, and that it was my duty to restrain my feelings, which they regarded as the effect of excitement. But all the opposers were now brought to see their mistake and confess that the work was indeed of the Lord. In a prayer-meeting soon after, H— P—, the brother who had confessed that he was wrong in his opposition, experienced the power of God in so great a degree that his countenance shone with a heavenly light, and he fell helpless to the floor. When his strength returned, he again acknowledged that he had been ignorantly warring against the Spirit of the Lord in cherishing the feeling he had against me.

In another prayer-meeting still another member of the same family was exercised in a similar manner and bore the same testimony. A few weeks after, while the large family of brother P— were engaged in prayer at their own house, the Spirit of God swept through the room and prostrated the kneeling suppliants. My father came in soon after and found them all, both parents and children, helpless under the power of the Lord.

Cold formality began to melt before the mighty influence of the Most High. All who had opposed me, confessed that they had grieved the Holy Spirit by so doing, and they united in sympathy with me and in love for the Saviour. My heart was glad that divine mercy had smoothed the path for my feet to tread, and rewarded my faith and trust so bountifully. Unity and peace now dwelt among our people who were looking forward toward the coming of the Lord.