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The Father of the Man

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Review and Herald Publishing Association · Washington, D. C. · Nov 17, 1904

FromReview and Herald, Vol. 81, No. 46.

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The Father of the Man

By A. W. Spaulding

“The child is father of the man,” Wordsworth said truly; for what you make your child, such a man may you expect him to be. There is not a Christian mother who does not dedicate her sons to the service of God, nor a godly father whose fondest wish is not that they shall grow up to speak for Christ. But it takes more than birthday consecration to form souls, and that dedication only is of value which, like the vow of the Nazarite, receives constant renewal and obedience. It may not take the sacrifice of a Hannah, but certainly it will require the devotion of a Mary, to make of our children those heralds who shall proclaim the coming kingdom.
Our schools bear great responsibility for the training of our children and youth, but not nearly so much as do our homes. And it is not merely in the teaching of doctrines and the enforcement of a simple and healthful mode of living, but as well in the forming of thought and speech, that the home must bear the greater burden; for the teaching of language does not begin in the school, but in the cradle. And again, the model of the school is seldom as influential as the pattern of the home; and it needs to be impressed upon us all that the atmosphere of the home determines whether the voice of the future man shall be heard ringing forth the pure truths of the gospel, or brawling in the dens of iniquity. The language of the home, if the home be his principal abode, will determine the child’s own language. His mind grows with the material upon which it is fed; his brain shapes the expression of its thoughts according to the model furnished through his ears. And these considerations suggest the requirements of the teaching in language that is done in the home.
Would you have your boy a teacher of the truth, or a maker and a lover of lies? Would you have him breathe purity in his speech, or revel in the filth of obscenity? Would you have him throw sunshine with his words, or mutter thunders in his most amiable moments? Would you have him able to speak without embarrassment to high and low, in the simplicity of correct speech, or stand in confusion when, mayhap, he is brought to testify before kings and rulers for the name of Jesus Christ? Your own manner of conversation shall decide! For it is in the practise, not so much in the giving of the precept, that the real teaching is done.
The conversation of the home should always be on elevated themes. Not that it must be theological or obscurely scientific: all subjects have their heights; we need but to go up. Let the lessons of Christ on the sowing and the reaping, on the life of flower and animal, teach us how to talk of these things without always discussing the value of Farmer Jones’ wheat crop, or the value of Fisherman Hopkin’s great catch. Rather talk of the influence of the war upon the progress of the gospel in Japan, Korea, and Russia, than dwell upon the doughty deeds of Cossack and of Nippon. Stop discussing the trimming of bonnets, and plan for the filling of hats in the missionary collection.
The language of the home should be pure. No one expects obscenity in the home circle, yet but few realize the influence of many expressions which have a lowering effect upon the speech. The use of slang and of expressions of uncertain meaning, opens the unfortified mind to debasing thoughts. In just as great degree should the opposite extreme of prudery be condemned, and the more particularly because it is a recognition of low thoughts, while the former fault is often committed without intention of debasement. To avoid the use of words which although having a proper meaning, may be construed by the evil-minded as prurient; or to change an exact and vigorous term for a general and obscure expression, because of the speaker’s own hypersensitive ideals; or to employ a foreign word or accent in the place of pure English, in order to veil the identity of the word, is not only to transgress the laws of rhetoric, but to reveal a depravity of mind second only to that of the reveler in lust. By example, teach the children in the home to use plain, exact, vigorous English words, and let one’s own consciousness of purity be protection against the evil that any might attach thereto.
The language of the home should be cheerful. Gloomy tones make sad hearts, and out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. The Christian home can not but be cheerful; if it is not cheerful, it is not Christian. Fault-finding, disputing, grumblings, gloomy silences,—all these tend to stop the springs of eloquence. The child of gloomy or peevish parents may become a philosopher, but he will tend to be a Cynic or a Sadducee. Good cheer that springs from love will make the Christian and the missionary whose words, like those of his Master, will win souls by the very charm of their music.
The language of the home should be correct. It is vain for the school to struggle against improprieties of speech which are born and strengthened in the home. The influence of father and mother in settling the forms of speech, is incalculable. To speak clearly, to give words their full and proper sounds, to make as good sentences as possible,—these should be the care of every parent.
The father or the mother may not have had the advantage of careful training in these matters, yet improvement can be made. Joseph and Mary were uneducated Galilean peasants, yet the language of Jesus afterward bore witness to the careful speech of his parents. Would not any mother be proud to have the sermon on the mount, in its purity and beauty of style, stand a monument to her training? Jesus had no other earthly teacher. The truth is, our mistakes in speech are not so much the result of ignorance as of carelessness. If one of us were to stand before the king of England or the chief justice of the United States Supreme Court, how carefully he would choose his words and form his speech! Yet in standing before a child, one is standing before a possible future king and priest, standing, let us hope, before one who will, even in this earth, be called upon to present the truth of God before great men, men of culture. Let us not lightly esteem our position now, but put before our children the best forms of speech which we can command. And by observing those who we know are proficient, and by accepting correction when we can get it, our speech may be perfected. Your child may become a Chrysostom, he may be a Whitefield; at all events, if you so will it, he may have the experience of those humble Galilean fishermen who, after three years and a half of companionship with the Nazarene, astonished and convinced the world by their eloquence. A. W. SPAULDING.