Save the Boys by Mrs. C. C. Lewis

Review and Herald Publishing Association · Tacoma Park Station, Washington, D.C. · Jun 18, 1914

Save the Boys

By Mrs. C. C. Lewis

MRS. C. C. LEWIS

“Where are the boys, the little boys Who ran about our door? With laughing eyes and merry tread They come to us no more.”

With a sob in the heart we think of the boys who once were pure and trustful, who went to Sabbath school regularly, and faithfully learned the lessons. The hearts of their parents glowed with pride and expectation as they looked forward to the time when their boys would go forth to proclaim the gospel message. But as time went on, little by little the boys cared less and less for Sabbath school. It became irksome to them. They congregated in groups, and stole away to the woods. Then came friction in the home. Parents, not understanding the boy nature, tried to coerce the boy. Gradually the breach widened between parent and child just at the critical time when confidence and trust should be cemented more firmly than before. The conflict was kept up with varying results. Sometimes the boy attended Sabbath school, sometimes he stayed at home, miserable and unhappy. Gradually he found more satisfaction with the “fellows,” as he called the other boys. He was out more in the evening; home influences waned, and soon lost their hold altogether. The boy broke away entirely from the faith of his family, and went forth to make his way in the world.

Doubtless most of us can see in this description the history of many a dear boy whom we have known. Misunderstood, censured, he went out into the ways of evil to his own loss and the sorrow of his parents’ hearts.

How different it all might have been if the parents had at the critical time cultivated the friendship of the boy. By every reasonable means (and I almost said unreasonable) the parents should win and hold the boy’s confidence.

The father should study the boy to find out his special likes and dislikes. If the home is on the farm and the boy loves pets, give him a calf, a colt, or whatever seems to fit the case. It may be a pen of hens, but give him something for his own. Help him to care for it, plan with him as you would with Mr. Snell across the way. Recognize the embryo man that is growing up beside you, and you will be surprised how he will develop in manliness. Deal honestly with your boy.

The parent should honor the property rights of the child with as much regard as he would have the child regard the rights of others in later years. I remember a story that illustrates the point:—

The Story of Bob and Ponto

One fine morning in spring Bob went to the pasture to bring up the horses, when to his great delight he found an extra one. It was a beautiful little colt with long slender legs, fine mane and tail, and a pretty neck.

“My!” he said to himself. “I am going

to ask father to give me Meg’s colt for my very own.” He carefully drove the horses into the barnyard, going no faster than the youngest could travel, then eagerly hastened to his father to tell his story and make his request. Of course, the farmer was glad of the addition to his stock, and received Bob’s announcement with evident satisfaction.

Bob was all aquiver. He hardly dared to present his request, but he mustered up courage, and was not a little surprised that his father so promptly told him he might have the colt for his own. He almost stood on his head for joy. “My very own,” he said to himself, as he bounded out to the barn to admire his new-found treasure. “I’ll call him Ponto,” said Bob, to his mother at the breakfast table.

We cannot follow these two companions very closely for the next two or three years. It is sufficient to say Bob lost no opportunity to pet and caress his little friend, and the colt seemed to reciprocate the affection by rubbing his neck on the child’s arm, and following him everywhere in the pasture.

But one day a horse dealer came along. Farmer Brown was short of funds, and the dealer offered him a large sum of money for the handsome colt. The dealer drove Ponto away.

Late in the afternoon Bob came home from school, and, as usual, ran out to the meadow to have a frolic with Ponto. When, lo, he was nowhere to be found! Bob examined the fence to see if the colt had got out, and not finding any opening went to his father to make inquiry. “Papa, where is Ponto? I have hunted everywhere and I can’t find him.”

“O,” said his father lightly, “I needed some money! A man offered me a good price and I sold him, and he took him away.” Bob was stunned and dazed for a moment, then burst forth in uncontrolled grief. “He was mine. O, why did you sell him?” cried the broken-hearted child. By the force of his authority the father compelled Bob to hide his sorrow, but never in all the years that followed could he convince the boy of the justice of his father’s dealings with him.

This story forcibly illustrates the unwise course parents sometimes pursue with their children.

Avoid the discussion of points of conflict. Steer clear of them as you would a precipice. Chum with the boy, visit with him about the things he enjoys talking about. But you say, “He is foolish and unreasonable.” You may have been more foolish and more unreasonable yourself twenty years ago. Keep close to the boy as you would if he were in a real battle; for indeed he is,—a battle with himself. Pity him in your heart, and sympathize with him in his struggles, but do not censure him. Instruct him instead.

A boy in the early teens was overcome and did something he knew was against his parents’ wishes. It almost broke his mother’s heart, for the time being, as she realized the truth. But as she looked into his innocent, boyish face and saw his regret, she opened her arms to receive the little culprit, who fell sobbing on her breast. She saw the repentance in his face, and from her heart pitied him in his weakness, and did not cast him off. We must have the tender compassion of Christ for the boys, especially during the period of the early teens.

While it is our duty to hold the reins of government somewhat tightly, we must also mingle with every look and word tender sympathy. I am reminded here of the dealings of Christ with Peter. This self-confident, impetuous disciple needed much painstaking effort bestowed upon him. Many times the Master reminded him of his weakness, but ever and anon his self-esteem brought him into difficulty. Finally he denied his Lord. Christ had warned Peter many times, but while he condemned his faults he did not leave him wholly to despair. The author of “Education” expresses the thought beautifully. She says: “If the look that Jesus cast upon him had spoken condemnation instead of pity, if in foretelling the sin he had failed of speaking hope, how dense would have been the darkness that encompassed Peter!” Here is a lesson for parents.

The same author continues in the following earnest words:—

“Human beings, themselves given to evil, are prone to deal untenderly with the tempted and the erring. They cannot read the heart, they know not its struggles and pain. Of the rebuke that is love, of the blow that wounds to heal, of the warning that speaks hope, they have need to learn.”—“Education,” page 90.

Remember the pit from which you were digged. How often have you in an unguarded moment been overcome and disappointed your Heavenly Father! Then be patient with this small man who is for the first time traveling up the hill of life to manhood. Mr. Fiske in his “Boy Life” says:—

“But what will win is the appeal to the boy’s honor and self-respect, assuring him of your confidence in him and faith in his future. Overlook his crudities, and make him think you reckon him at several years older than he acts. This will bring him quickly up to your estimate of him, and his latent manliness will rapidly appear, at least in your presence. He will soon have a keen desire to win your approval and hold your respect. Trust him, and he will not disappoint you; for he will come to feel that you among all his friends understand him. Encourage his confidences, and he will soon confide in you freely, and at such times you may readily influence him by the power of suggestion, to which such boys are peculiarly susceptible. You can then arouse in him new purposes, higher standards of manliness, right ambitions for his own future, and perhaps a true ideal of usefulness. Now is the time when the boy is ripe for a sensible, manly Christian experience, which will exalt these new experiences and purposes and make them permanent; binding him, through your own friendship, to your Master, the manly Christ.”

Takoma Park, D. C.