What the Bible Has to Say to Fathers
By Newman Hall
MEN on earth are to learn their duty as fathers from the great and first Model of fatherhood. He provided for his children, and this is a father's first and incumbent duty. Provision implies protection, instruction. Some fathers ignorantly excuse themselves from teaching, with the plea that teaching cannot begin before the capacity to learn, not thinking that the capacity begins even at birth. As soon as the eye opens, it begins to observe. It distinguishes between light and darkness, and soon knows the difference between looks of love and anger. Smiles attract, while frowns repel. A mother often draws to her embrace the babe whom its father's frown repels. Children learn much before they utter words. Let fathers teach their young children the sweetness of love, by their treatment of the mother. Rudeness, anger, neglect by the husband, teach similar conduct by the children to the mother. Some parents seem to think that their whole responsibility is met when they send the children to the infant school, without inquiring about the efficiency of the teachers. How deeply impressed I was, when quite a little child, not only by being taken into a quiet room with my mother every day when she prayed for me, but by standing outside at her room door and hearing her pray, and wondering at her thus talking with an unseen God and asking his blessing. A parent not known by a child to pray is really a lesson on not praying. Can I ever forget entering unexpectedly early in the morning into my father's room, and finding him on his knees before God? Did not we children, while still young enough for an infant school, thus receive lessons in early piety, sermons without words, but indelibly impressive? I could never think of my parents in after years apart from their habitual communion with God. If parents are prayerless, can they expect their children to grow up otherwise? Such prayer should not be that of mere stated form, but language of the heart suited to the circumstances of every day. Thus teach young children to ask for what they need, and seek help both for themselves and for their parents with them. The duty of truthfulness in speech should be lovingly enforced. Children are often careless in their statements, apparently indifferent whether or not what they say is actually in harmony with facts. They tell falsehoods without knowing it. A lie is something which they have learned to hate and condemn, without considering that whatever is said intentionally to mislead is disgraceful and is a lie. In daily life how many falsehoods are uttered as if harmless, excused as the usages of society, as the sport of conversation, and afterward in the daily business of life, as the necessity of trade, and permitted by the customs of commerce. Thus it comes to pass that in many business transactions “yes” and “no” are words hastily uttered, which convey and are intended to convey a meaning contrary to the reality. How much of the crimes of business result from the habits of untruth acquired in childhood, and not condemned by fathers! Honesty is intimately associated with truthfulness. The eagerness for gain is easily aided by departure from truth. “It is naught, it is naught, saith the buyer,” when he desires to obtain an article at a less price than it is worth. Very often the dishonesty is gloried in rather than condemned. So also in selling. The value of the article is declared greater than its real worth, and the extra price obtained by the lie is regarded as the lawful prize of sharpness. It is to be feared that in most buying and selling there is deliberate lying. This is considered by many dealers as of no consequence in little things, while in large matters it may cause absolute ruin or enormous wealth. If fathers would avoid helping their boys to develop in after years into creators of guilty wealth or of widespread ruin, let them be taught in early years to abhor lying and cheating. Similar hints might be suggested respecting industry and indolence. There are mysteries in the physical frame which cannot easily be explained to the young, which it is impossible to conceal. Is it right to disguise or hide them altogether? Will not the young ask questions most natural for them to ask, and important for them to know in order to behave themselves aright? If children are reproved for asking such questions, will not the same questions be asked from others not so able or so safely to be trusted? Some parents resort to fiction, and invent fables and fancies which are sure to be discovered and unraveled, and thus do great harm when the youths discover that they have been deceived. Will not the truth of facts, soberly and solemnly explained, be more conducive to purity, both in themselves and toward others, than any stern repression or any falsified delusion? This course will be made easy if in regard to all other subjects there is diligence in explanation. Children from the first ask questions: “How?” “When?” “Why?” Tell as plainly as their child minds can comprehend the origin of plants, the growth of seeds, the development of birds, the progress of nature in all its operations, and the mysteries connected with our own physical nature will greatly diminish; that is, will cease to seem so different from everything else. At the age of eighty-five, looking back on a long experience of fathers and children in many families, there are hints I feel disposed to add which might prove more or less commendable or useful, but my space is already occupied. A parent's chief duty and endeavor should be to bring up his children as children of God, and therefore to cultivate the divine life. But there is danger lest external forms should take the place of religion itself. A child may be drilled into the attitudes and forms which look like real piety, but injuriously exclude it by the outward show of it. Better the real beating of the young heart toward God than any amount of mere pretense. Be careful of the conversation you encourage in their presence. Never make game of religion or religious people. Do not ridicule or censure people who may belong to some other church or denomination. Treat all who love God and wish to live godly lives as, with themselves, sons and daughters of the Lord God Almighty. Try to teach them that all belong to the same family of heaven who try to serve and please God. Tell them that in after years they may learn what these differences mean, but that meanwhile we must love them all as children of God. Let them, above all things else, try in everything to please their Heavenly Father, and so best to give joy12to yourselves. Let not your prevailing topic of discourse be social quarrels or commercial schemes or the gain or loss of money, but the fear of God, which is “better than riches,” “and the gain thereof than fine gold.”—Newman Hall.