A Geological Allegory by George McCready Price

Pacific Press Publishing Association · Mountain View, California · Mar 9, 1915

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 42, No. 10.

A Geological Allegory

By George McCready Price

A Shipwreck in the South Pacific—Explaining the Origin of Bodies Cast upon the Shore—Not More Absurd than Many Evolution Theories

By George McCready Price

Prefatory Note.—The object of the following allegory is not merely to write an amusing travesty on the common methods and theories of geology. But the very fact that the methods of reasoning represented in the following narrative, and the explanatory theories adopted, appear so supremely absurd to us when considered in this detached form, ought to prove to us that similar reasoning and similar explanatory theories adopted by geologists regarding the world as a whole cannot be scientifically sound; for the parallel is extremely close. The writer has created no ludicrous situation in the following story without having in mind an almost exactly similar situation in the methods and theories of the current geology. It goes without saying that there must be sounder and more truly scientific methods in the reformed science that has outgrown such things.

The natives of Telluria, one of the islands of the South Pacific, tell an amusing story of the first experience their island ever had with the white race, a good many years ago, and of the wonderful theories invented by their great witch doctor in explanation of some things which were at that time very new and strange to them.

Some Bodies Drift Ashore

It seems that an English ship had been wrecked one night on a reef several miles away; and some bodies had drifted toward the island, and in the morning were found by the natives on the beach. Their white skins, their clothing, and above all the thick cork jackets, or life preservers, that some of them wore, presented problems and mysteries beyond the solution of the ordinary native mind; and their old witch doctor, or medicine man, was invoked to explain them.

The natives of this island, it appears, had been especially secluded, and had little knowledge of any other world than their own. They wore almost no clothing themselves, and did not know of any people who wore more, their knowledge of other lands being in fact limited to occasional visits to or from other small islands some distance off, inhabited by people much like themselves.

Opinion of the Aboriginal Sage

The old doctor's name was, I think, Mega-sophistico; but we shall call him Meg for convenience. His people looked upon him as possessing almost superhuman wisdom; and they all awaited his opinion in hushed wonder. On his part, he was determined to maintain his reputation.

The first body he hit upon happened to be that of an old officer who was completely dressed, even to his military greatcoat, and over this an oil coat, or tarpaulin. To this abundance of clothing was added the usual life preserver, fastened tight about his body; and the whole was certainly calculated to test the doctor's powers of ingenuity or wisdom.

He first called for a knife, and with some slow, careful work, succeeded in cutting through the successive layers of cork jacket, tarpaulin, coat, vest, linen shirt, and silk undershirt, and examined everything with the greatest care. His first thought was that the coverings were whiter or more like the man's skin the nearer he got to the body. But the silk undershirt, which happened to be black, was contrary to this theory; and yet he had the conviction that these strange people were not in any way like himself, but belonged to an altogether different kind of beings. In short, his theory was not that these coverings were clothing, the thought of which never occurred to him, but that they were something of the nature of a shell which grew naturally upon their bodies. Of all the bodies found, this was evidently the oldest, for the old officer's hair was snow-white; and the fact that he had on also much more clothing than the others, lent support to this theory.

Not to Be Outdone

Still, there was the black undershirt. How was that to be explained? He had noticed some of the bits of cork fall out of the life preserver as he cut it open, and he had observed that these pieces floated very readily on water. He tried a larger piece, and smiled in a wise way at the result. But the black shirt; what about it?

Suddenly a new idea occurred to him. He had some of the people bring him some fire; and then slowly and deliberately, as became so much wisdom, he took a small piece of the silk and held it in the heat. It fizzled up, but would not readily burn. He smelled of it, and, sure enough, it was animal matter, not vegetable. This to his mind was proof positive that this black covering was a part of this strange animal itself,—had grown on the spot, in situ, as we moderns say. The linen gave a contrary result when tested in the same way, though he did not let any one know that he was disappointed; but vest and coat were plainly animal matter, and the oil coat looked so evidently of the same structure that he took it for granted. Then he was ready with his explanation.

“My good people,” he said, “these are not men such as we are, but a different kind of beings altogether, mere animals, which live almost entirely in the cold water of the far, far south.”

Ingenious Theory of Origins

I shall not attempt a literal version of his story, but may be allowed to adapt the language to our more modern and scientific style.

“They are old, old, very old. This one's white hair and wrinkled face show this; but every one of them, you will notice, has a white skin. This whiteness of the skin has also, no doubt, come about from extreme age; for just as the hair turns white, so will the skin also after many centuries have passed. Moreover, these coats or shells that it has on are also evidence of this. They are not at all like our loin-cloths, made of plant fibers, but are composed of animal matter, as you can see for yourselves;” at the same time offering them some burned pieces to smell of. “Hence it is reasonable to suppose that they grew upon the creature one after another in succession.”

“Doubtless, also, they grew from the outside. Hence it is plain that the outer ones are immeasurably more recent than the inner ones. No doubt scores of years, perhaps centuries, passed between the growths of these different layers. Thus for a very long, long time the things had only these soft, thin shells on their backs. These inner ones, too, are probably all ornamental, and suited to successively different habits of life; but this outer oily one plainly shows that the animal was at last becoming accustomed to drenching rains or sprays, while the very last one shows that it was adapted to floating on the water.”

With somewhat more care in removing the garments, he discovered that at their tops the stockings were over or on the outside of the silk underwear, the trousers outside of them, and the long boots, for a short

distance, over all three. He then explained that the stockings were quite obviously older than the trousers, and the boots younger; but as nothing could be affirmed about the absolute age of the latter, it was about the same as that of the vest; for though of different material, they were, like it, over only a small part of the body.

During all this time, most of the people had been standing around in open-mouthed wonder as these marvelous pictures were thus opened up to their minds, and they were more than ever convinced of the almost supernatural wisdom of their great doctor Meg.

A Disconcerting Question

There were three other bodies on the beach, one a small boy in knickerbockers, another an old sailor, and the third a young colored waiter, who had not been awakened as soon as the others at the time of the wreck, and had on only a pair of stockings, and a long, flowing night robe, though like all the others, he had the inevitable life preserver around his waist.

An old chief who thought Meg's story all nonsense, had discovered this latter specimen, and with great glee he got three of his men to bring the body over to where Meg was lecturing.

“There,” said he, pointing to this objective proof of what he said, “what do you make of that? How is it this one is black, just like ourselves, and still he has on this outer covering [the life preserver], which you say was only acquired after long, long centuries of change?”

But Meg was equal to the occasion.

“Why, don't you see that what you call this last one's black skin is only just the same as the other one's first shell? They are both the same color; only this one's is loose, and the other's isn't. Sometimes these shells get loose, sometimes they don't.”

The chief was silenced, though not convinced, and continued to think old Meg's theory all fancy. But as for the common people, they all accepted Meg's story without question, and continued to believe it for years; and in fact it was passed from father to son for over half a century, or until some other Europeans visited the island only a few years ago.