Millinery Impromptu by M. Elizabeth Burns-Howell

Pacific Press Publishing Association · Mountain View, California · May 5, 1909

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 36, No. 18.

Millinery Impromptu

By M. Elizabeth Burns-Howell

[A lady contributor, to whom, as to many others, even of fashion’s devotees, the present styles of hats are, to put it mildly, repugnant, sends us the following note and verse. Bishop Moore, of Cincinnati, calls the tub hats “Korean hapadodles,” and declares that one Easter hat would buy a clergyman’s entire outfit.]

APROPOS of the “newest thing” in spring styles for women’s hats, which are conceded by even avowed devotees of fashion to be the most absurd and outlandish yet developed, without rule or reason, so unwieldy as to be often an actual menace to comfort, and with no claim whatever to beauty or becomingness. In many cases they can only be regarded as freaks, the hybrid offshoot of that lawless spirit which more and more dominates the times, setting aside the laws of nature in their harmony of form and color of real use and simple beauty.

After an hour upon the city streets or upon viewing the fashion show of the recent Easter parades, one turns away in disgust, sated with the morsel of the world’s pomp. The soul instinctively turns back to that lost Eden, pristine and pure, where “Our ancient mother, sun-crowned, wind-kissed Eve, / Trod Eden pathways hatless, free did rove, / All unadorned, her beauty primitive,” and longs for the refreshing simplicity of a life that is harmonious with nature in all her beautiful laws, simple and unaffected, yet rich and powerful in her spontaneous expression of a life within; a wealth of being that art can only imitate and never actually approach, even in its sincerest attempts.

But this travesty of a hat — never were the words of the preacher so apt — “Vanity, vanity, all is vanity!”

(Before a shop window, this month of April, 1909.)

Dear me! What’s that? Aye ’tis a dream, The new spring hat? “Creme de la creme,” This latest shape. Curiosity! (Where is the ape Monstrosity! Would dare don it?) A freak, a fraud, Fie! who said it! — A giddy gaud. Ladies, pardon. Newest wrinkle? O lost garden! Queerest crinkle — Nature-wise, A kitchen pot, Hither, hatless, Or hod — what not? Simple, artless, (Reverse it.) Would I wander; Tower, steeple, Learn life’s wonder, Wheel — dear people! Glean time’s glory — Or flat, or high; Old, old story; No reason why, Sung long aeons, “Fashion’s dictum,” Primal paeons, So we wear ’em, Paradise! And pay the price. (The sum is nice, O vanity! Doth purse fit?) Non sanity!

M. ELIZABETH BURNS-HOWELL.