SOCIETY by Mary Wood-Allen

Pacific Press Publishing Company · Oakland, California · Apr 15, 1903

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 29, No. 15.

SOCIETY

By Mary Wood-Allen

BY MARY WOOD-ALLEN, M. D.

Comradeship.

UNFORTUNATELY for the best morals there is little idea of comradeship among men and women. The basis of their association is generally supposed to be the romantic, the sentimental, and this idea maintains not only in regard to adults but even to children.

Parents and friends of course do not mean to give evil instructions, but their indirect teaching does surely bear evil fruit. Instead of allowing the children to associate together in a frank comradeship, they begin to tell them they are lovers and sweethearts, and so place their acquaintance upon a false basis. Ideas and feelings which have no place in the mind of the normal child are introduced into his thought, and henceforth he will not be able to think correctly.

If left to themselves the little boy and girl play in the same spirit of comradeship as do two boys or two girls, and it is only when the idea of a sentimental relationship is suggested by others that they have thoughts of difference of sex. If we were wise we would endeavor to prolong this innocent comradeship, this spirit of good fellowship, as long as possible. The world would be a much safer place for all if the possibility of comradeship were the prevalent idea, and the probability of courtship were not the uppermost thought in all minds.

Why should there not be a friendship between men and women? a friendship based upon mutual respect and honorable admiration of each other's better selves? But there can scarcely be such friendship so long as prying eyes and wagging tongues are on the alert to proclaim that a courtship is in progress because the two have talked pleasantly together.

How little consideration we give to this sensational state of public thought. Let two little children smile at each other and at once some one suggests that they are sweethearts, and they are taught to call each other husband and wife because it is “so cute.”

A little boy brought me a photograph of his “best girl,” he said. “What do you mean by your best girl?” I inquired. “O I don’t know,” was the answer. “We play together and folks say she is my best girl.” Poor little chap! not allowed even in his babyhood to have a frank comradeship with another child merely because that child was a girl.

If a schoolboy walks with a girl classmate and courteously carries her books, he is at once called her “beau,” and the association of the two is embarrassed by a consciousness of sex which puts them into a relation of sentiments that can easily become sentimentality, and which throws them into an atmosphere poisoned with the mephitic vapors of passional romance.

If these young people are misled by the false lights we have placed in their path and go astray, we censure them and forget that we ourselves were first to blame, and should bear our share of the punishment.

Of all people in the world adolescents should be kept out of the realm of sentimentality, and in the wholesome atmosphere of camaraderie. They need not be separated from each other, but encouraged to mingle in a frank friendliness which permits no familiarity.

“Should a girl treat a young man as her brother?” was the question asked me by a young girl.

My reply was, “That depends upon how she treats her brother. If she nags him, frets at him, criticizes him, and makes herself generally unpleasant to him, I should say that no young man would desire such sisterly treatment. If the titles ‘brother’ and ‘sister’ are adopted as excuses for personal familiarity, caresses, and endearments, I should say that she should not treat him as a brother. But if to treat him as a brother means to be a good comrade, to be courteous, but with personal reserve, to be unsentimental, to arouse in him the noblest aspirations, and on occasion to frankly correct his faults, then I should say that he would be helped by such sisterly treatment and she would not be endangered.”

Few girls think of the element of danger to themselves that lurks in a sentimental relationship, whether veiled under the assumed titles of cousins, brothers, and sisters, or using no disguise. Young men may realize it, but so long as public opinion does not censure them for any possible results, they are not apt to think very seriously of the matter.

There are two sets of obligations which cover the lives of the young which it would be well for them to make a part of their mental and moral furniture.

That of the White Shield Society for young women reads as follows:—

I, ——promise, by the help of God:—

To uphold the law of purity as equally binding upon men and women.
To be modest in language, behavior, and dress.
To avoid all conversation, reading, art, and amusements which may put impure thoughts into my mind.
To guard the purity of others, especially of my companions and friends.
To strive after the special blessing promised to the pure in heart.

That of the White Cross Society for young men reads:—

I, ——promise, by the help of God:—

To treat all women with respect, and endeavor to protect them from wrong and degradation.
To endeavor to put down all indecent language and coarse jests.
To maintain the law of purity as equally binding upon men and women.
To endeavor to spread these principles among my companions, and to try to help my younger brothers.
To use all possible means to fulfil the command, “Keep thyself pure.”