A PLAINLY dressed mother and child stood before the window of a large toy store on Fourteenth Street, New York, in which was displayed many elaborately dressed dolls. The little girl, greatly to the mother's surprise, selected the most plainly dressed doll as the one which she wished to own.
"Why did you not choose one of the more beautifully dressed dolls?" asked the mother.
"Because I want to be my dolly's mamma, not her nurse," was the answer.
How much better if this feeling were shared by mothers who think the way to make their children happy is to gratify them by making a complete sacrifice of their own comfort and pleasure! If mothers would only aim to be the companions of their children, instead of being the pack-horse of the household, the expected-to-go-without one of the family, as too many mothers are, how much better and more natural would be the family life! Many mothers let their love blind them to their child's best interests, in the mistaken idea that by doing without the articles of dress that are necessary to make a respectable appearance in church or society, that the daughters may be more fashionably dressed, they are adding to their children's happiness. But what a mistake! How surely they are being unfitted for the real battle of life! What false reasoning! "Let her have the new hat; she will have to do without soon enough." "I can stay at home; let her go; she will have to be deprived of pleasure soon enough," forgetting that by their own treatment they are giving their children false ideas of the real purpose of life, namely, fitting themselves for the necessary burdens and duties which must come to them in their own sphere.
How many young wives and mothers can charge the unhappiness of their early married life—fortunate if they can say early—to the training, or rather lack of training, received from their own mothers! Having been educated to think only of themselves, their own comfort, how can they fulfill the obligations laid on them in their new relations? How many girls go into homes of their own without the slightest idea of the economy which must be exercised, because of a salary scarcely large enough to support one in more than ordinary comfort, and which must now do for two! It is well enough to protest against marriage before support is certain, but such injudicious marriages always have taken place, and always will take place. Sometimes they result in happiness because the wife has been fitted by early education for a poor man's wife, and is prepared to help him.
How much unhappiness might be spared the young wife and housekeeper if she had been taught that in one dollar there are only one hundred cents; and taught to know when, where, and how to buy!
A mother may invite the daughter to accompany her marketing as well as shopping, and the knowledge gained will save heartaches, and often dissension and dissatisfaction, besides the financial gain arising from the difference of buying with or without experience and knowledge. How many girls make fretful, nervous wives, because when placed at the head of a household, in addition to the ignorance which causes much suffering, they learn for the first time that life must be lived even if the seasons come and go without the usual number of bonnets, gloves, and dresses! If the young wife possesses a soul of true womanhood, even with her false views of what constitutes true pleasure, she will prove a blessing to her husband and children; but if, unfortunately, the early training is so firmly engrafted as to bear but the fruit of such culture, then Heaven pity wife, husband, home, and children!
What is the remedy? It is in the hands of mother and child. One is to remember her own struggle, added to and intensified by her ignorance, and by care and training to educate her daughters in such a way that they will be able to meet their new burdens as well equipped as wise counsel and example can equip them; and, on the daughter's part to remember that the mother has traveled the road in which she will walk; that the experience secured was by much outlay of strength of body and mind; that a knowledge gained from such a source is the most valuable to which she will have free access, even if a little old-fashioned. If the world has traveled so fast that many of her mother's experiences cannot be repeated, the lessons of patience taught, and the revelation of a love that outweighs every trouble, will enable the daughter to cope better with the new experiences which come from new blessings.
Mothers, teach from your own experience; lay part of the every-day care on the daughters, whether of economies or household duties; and by so doing prepare the growing back for the coming burden. Daughters, listen and learn, because the mother is the friend who has your best interest at heart. Besides, it is your duty to share the burden, as far as you can, of your childhood's home, that the mother may have a little rest and comfort, and be permitted, before she goes to the grave, to know that her children tried to repay a small part of the care she gave them, when she was the only one glad to give them her best strength and to feel herself blessed and not sacrificed in the giving.