THE CHILD by Mrs. Mary Wood-Allen, M.D.

Pacific Press Publishing Company · Oakland, California · Jul 16, 1902

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 28, No. 29.

THE CHILD

By Mrs. Mary Wood-Allen, M.D.

VI.—PERSEVERANCE.

The ability to concentrate effort and to persevere are always characteristics of the successful man, and therefore to be included in the education of the child. When the child persists in that which to us seems admittable, we call it perseverance. When he persists in that which annoys us, we denominate it obstinacy. We praise the persevering child, and punish the obstinate one. But the problem before us is to know the difference between these qualities, and to train the child in that which is perseverative.

We may define perseverance as a steadfast persistence in a reasonable purpose, obstinacy as a persistence in a selfish and unreasonable purpose. What would be obstinacy in the adult may not be so in the child; for from his standpoint the purpose is reasonable. Along with the cultivation of persistence, men should seek an education of the judgment in deciding whether the purpose is worthy of persistent pursuit, and the cultivation of a willingness to abandon it if not worthy.

In training the child we must ever remember that all character building begins in earliest life; and if we are not actively building up in the child habits of thought and conduct that are desirable in maturity, forces are at work which, in all probability, are building up the undesirable characteristics.

In teaching perseverance, two factors must ever be kept in mind. One is that the immature brain becomes easily fatigued, and must not be kept too long on the stretch. The other is that the child is most persistent in doing the things that interest him. From the first we deduce the conclusion that we can not hold the child to tasks as long continued as we could the adult; that he must have time to rest, and therefore his tasks must be arranged to be repeated at intervals rather than maintained for long periods. From the second we receive the suggestion that we should have easier work in obtaining persistence on the part of the child if we arouse an interest in the thing we set him to do.

It is true that in maturity he will be obliged to persevere in doing uninteresting things; but as judgment develops, his reason will come to his aid, and he will understand why this must be so. Little by little he can be taught to persevere in the things he does not really enjoy; and yet even in these tasks he can be taught to take a pleasure in achievement, in accomplishing a desired end altho by disagreeable means.

Before taking up the positive side of this subject, it may be well to see how we often teach—albeit unwittingly—the opposite of perseverance. We find it hard to remember that the child's business is his play; and that in his play he is learning the lessons which will enable him to cope with the business of mature life. We fail to understand that an interruption of his mental processes is as irritating to him as the interruption of ours is to us. We do not hesitate at any time to break in upon his play with our demands.

Little Carl is building a house with small blocks of wood. His father is building one with large blocks of stone. If the man were concentrating his mind on some deep problem of construction, we would know better than to interrupt him. We see Carl putting on the topmost block of a tower, just balancing it with minute precision; but we say without a compunction of conscience, “Carl, run up stairs and get my thimble, quick.” Suddenly, rudely, the little intent mind is switched off on a track that is not agreeable; his brain receives a wrench; he rebels, and—is punished. We would censure one who would interfere with the man, because we could see the value of his work. We punish the child because we do not see the value of his; and yet in truth it is more important that the immature brain should not receive a shock than that the mature brain should be a little disturbed.

Shall we, then, ever call our children from their play to assist us?—To be sure. It is vital to learn how to turn the thought quickly into a new channel, and then as quickly bring it back. But it is too hard a problem for the little one without some preparation.

Suppose you had waited a moment until the block was placed; had admired the structure, and then had said, “Now, before you go on with your work, I would like to have you run up stairs and get my thimble.” His mind would have been led by degrees into your channel of thought. There would have been no cruel strain or wrench to the delicate brain.

How few parents stop to consider the child's employment if they feel inclined to amuse themselves. They catch the little one away from his play, kiss and fondle him as long as they desire, and then set him down, and wonder why he is irritable! How would the parent feel under similar treatment?

Give the child respectful consideration. Allow him time to adjust his mind to your wishes. If his playthings are on the table when you need it for dinner, do not hastily sweep them off with no word of apology. Give him time and set his mind running in the channel of your desires. Say, “You want some dinner, don't you?” Of course he does. Then add, “Well, if we are to have dinner on time, I must have the table in five minutes.” That will give him time to re-arrange his desires and to bring himself into active co-operation with your wishes.

So much for suggestions along the negative side. Now for the positive. To train to perseverance, the tasks assigned the child must be suited to his ability; not so simple that he can take no interest in them, and not so difficult that he can not accomplish them. It is through success in doing something that seems to him to be worth doing, that he is to be taught to persevere.

Children are ever reaching out toward new and harder undertakings. If continually hindered, they grow discouraged. If always helped, so that they need put forth no effort, they lose ambition. The child who is always carried never learns to walk. He must try, and keep trying; and even if he is helped, he must not be too conscious of that assistance.

Encourage him when he succeeds, and inspire him to new effort when he fails; and in teaching him to persevere you get a good lesson in perseverance yourself. Give him some daily duties to perform, and then see to it that he does them. There is never a time or a place in the training of a child when the parent may safely say, “O well, it won't matter just this once.” It does matter every time. If you do not persevere, he may fail in learning the lesson of perseverance. Give him a plant to care for; and with him watch its growth, and thus reward his care. Do not rectify his neglect. He must some time learn his lesson of cause and effect. Do not cheat him of this knowledge through mistaken love.

Give him a pet to feed. If he neglects it, let him suffer similar neglect. He will learn most quickly in this way; and you need not be afraid that he will allow himself to be harmed for lack of food if his obtaining it depends on his feeding the creature entrusted to his care.

As he grows older, see that he experiences the pleasure of achievement and delight of persistence even over obstacles and through unpleasantness. Teach him especially that if he has a disagreeable task to perform, he should not postpone it and so prolong its pain by dread. You will be most successful if you can cause him to experience some unpleasant result from his failure to persevere. However, do not undervalue encouragement,—not to work for praise, but to work to accomplish and to rejoice in the task completed.