HUSBANDS AND WIVES

Pacific Press Publishing Company · Oakland, California · Dec 11, 1901

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 27, No. 50.

HUSBANDS AND WIVES.

IT lies very much with the wives to make it easy for their husbands to show their tenderness. A woman should have a clean face to start with. A little extra scrubbing with soap and water before the husband comes home at night would not be amiss in some cases that I have observed, and it might bring some roses to the cheeks. A bow in the hair, a clean frill around the neck, perhaps a flower in the dress, has the desired effect. I tell the women that men's affections will sometimes wander because their wives are untidy and slatternly, their hair unkempt, their appearance unattractive. All women are not equally pretty; but it is not prettiness that holds a man's affection, but sweetness, neatness, nattiness, and these are possible to all women. A woman makes a profound mistake who frets and pouts and puts herself into a bad temper that she may be petted into a good one. It is a bad policy. A man will be tempted to coax her back once or twice, but he loses his respect for her each time. It really alienates him in his deepest nature and brings division between them. She is no longer his equal, one with him in spirit, heart, and life, but his toy and plaything. After awhile he will live in perpetual fear that one of these fits of caprice may be coming on, will hide anything likely to induce them, and so begins a course of insincerity which is the grave of love.

No; when a woman perceives the expression of tenderness waning, let her keep her secret. Like Enid, she must possess herself in patience, never less but more sensitive to every spoken and unspoken wish; light, gentle, sympathetic, patient, expressing her tenderness by those little arts that women learn without going to school, and the love will emerge from its winter and sow the soul again with flowerets.

But let men be more thoughtful and tender. When they feel most put out and irritated, either with or without cause, it would be well to force themselves to bridge the yawning chasm with a caress. Kiss and be friends, they used to say when we were children. Let us be careful to maintain the outward forms and the inner spirit will not be far away. We should not be less courteous to our wives than to our friends. A wife's feelings are more susceptible. To leave the house for our daily work, or to return to it after hours of absence without some recognition, is a mistake, and worse. Let us not forget the fret and worry, the perpetual burden of the children at home, the scheming and planning, the daily provision of dinner, the letting out of frocks for growing children, the darning and patching of boys' clothes, and tidying and cleaning and washing; and, if there are servants, the even greater anxiety involved in managing these. No woman would do for pay what thousands are doing for love. They ask no other wage than tenderness, which is the expression of a true and honest affection. And a woman can tell in an instant if it is that or a mere subterfuge for fidelity.—The Watchman.