MARRYING TO STAY MARRIED.
The following, from an article by Helen Dare, in the San Francisco Examiner, is worth reproduction. It is an account of an interview with an aged couple in this city who have recently celebrated their golden wedding. They have nine children. They were asked how they came to stay married so long. Here is the essential part of the wife’s reply:— And I’ll tell you what I think about it. We staid married because we married for love, first of all, and because we meant to do right by each other. I made up my mind that my family and my home were entitled to my first attention; that any other interests took second place. My home is my heaven. I believe a woman should look after her own household for the sake of the comfort it brings to those in the home. It takes heart as well as money to make a home. I believe a woman should give her own children her personal care. I believe that she should win and hold the love of her children, instead of letting it go to hired servants. I believe a woman with husband and children doesn’t need clubs or missions. I am old-fashioned, and I may be wrong; but I can’t see how she can do her duty by both; and I think there are enough women without husband and children to attend to the clubs and missions. And here is what the husband said:— I’ll tell what I think of how we staid married fifty years. It never seemed anything but natural to us, altho I suppose it is out of the ordinary, now that folks marry and unmarry so fast. We staid married because that was what we married for. It wasn’t an experiment with us. We weren’t in a hurry to get married, and we weren’t in a hurry to get unmarried. We started out with the intention of sticking together until the end. Then we lived for each other, not each for himself. My wife took care of our home for the children and for me. I provided for the home, for her and the children. She was satisfied with what I could do for her, even if some other man could give more to his wife. I was satisfied with what she could do for me, even if some other woman was smarter—altho I never saw one that was. But above all, a husband and wife should have no secrets from each other. That I believe is the most important thing when two people are suited to each other in taste and temper. Secrecy leads to trouble, and often to crime. If a man can not afford to give his wife as much money, or as fine clothes, or as big a house as she wants, he should tell her so. If he is in trouble, he should tell her so. Nor should a wife have secrets of any kind from her husband. Secrets lead to suspicion, and suspicion to misery. Of all people in the world, a husband and wife should be able to trust each other. And they should have patience with each other—much patience. That is the way to stay married.