THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE FATHER.
By Mrs. M. C. DuBois
THE Word of God gives this solemn charge: “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” Col. 3:21. “But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4. It is not a light thing to “train up a child in the way he should go.” Spasmodic efforts will not do it. God’s instructions to Israel in regard to parental duty were, “Ye shall teach them [My words] your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Deut. 11:19. And these things were to be taught to “thy sons and thy sons’ sons,” “precept upon precept, line upon line.” Deut. 4:9; Isa. 28:10. Who is to do this teaching?—There should be a united effort on the part of both parents to teach the principles of truth and purity to the children. But perhaps the father has a greater influence in forming the character of his son than of his daughter, for the boy is usually with him more. Generally the boy takes his first object lesson from father. What papa does and says makes a deep impression on the little one. And so, unconsciously, by his daily life, he is molding the character and shaping the future of his boy. Then how great is the father’s responsibility, and how carefully he should walk and talk before his children! Father, your boy will quickly catch the spirit you manifest. Gentle firmness should characterize your dealings with him. Do not scold and find fault with him from morning till night, nor reprove him before others. Remember you are not to provoke your child, lest he become discouraged. On the contrary, be patient with the lad, and seek to win and hold his confidence by being companionable. Be just with your boy in money matters. If you can possibly do so, give him a weekly allowance, even tho it may be small. Teach him the value of money, and how to spend it wisely. Teach him also habits of industry. Useful employment will save him from many temptations. Keep your word with your boy as sacredly as you would with a business man. Do not let him have cause to doubt your word on account of a broken promise. And let all your business transactions be strictly right before him. If you are “a little shaky,” his sharp eyes will see it, and a seed will be sown in that little heart that may bring forth a bitter harvest. There are certain things he ought to know. When he reaches the proper age, talk with him about them. Tell him about himself, of the wonders of his body. Plant seeds of virtue in his heart by right examples and pure conversation. The boys should have the same careful teaching in virtue and purity as the girls. There should not be two standards in the family. Some seem to expect a higher standard of purity in the girl than in the boy. Why is this, unless it is that the father has allowed himself to tell impure stories in the hearing of his son, thus dropping into the unfolding mind a foul seed, which may bear fruit by and by? Would he recognize the sequel of those impure stories told so long ago? I think not. Our children have a powerful enemy to contend with. Satan is reaching out after their souls, and will leave no means untried to accomplish their ruin. The times are perilous for them, and they need the tenderest care. Teach them to honor God, and in all they do to keep Him in mind. Fathers, set a godly example before your sons and daughters. Example is a most effective teacher. Young hearts crave sociability, cheerfulness; if they do not find these at home, they will look for them elsewhere. Fathers, are you sociable with your children, or are you cold and reserved? Are you, as head of the family, doing all in your power to make home so attractive as to hold them within the home fold, or do you expect the mother to furnish all the home sunshine? I have often heard it said, “It matters little what the father is, if the mother is a woman of strength and willpower.” A mother’s influence is great; but this does not by any means lessen the responsibility of the father. God will hold every father responsible for the evil influence he exerts over his children.