Speaking Truth in Love

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International Tract and Missionary Society · Oakland, California · Jun 25, 1885

FromSigns of the Times, Vol. 11, No. 25.

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Speaking Truth in Love.

It is not uncommon to hear one who has just uttered a bitter remark, add, as if offering a sufficient excuse, "I'm a plain-spoken man, and I speak out exactly what I believe." Upon this habit of frankness many pride themselves, as if its justification were self-evident. To others, however, it savors of rudeness, sometimes even of brutality. There is a certain meanness in trying to clothe a harsh and unlovely action in the garb of a virtue. Christ certainly commanded truthfulness. That is beyond dispute. Were the importance of veracity generally disregarded, social chaos also would ensue, and in a very short time. If every one were to speak and act the truth, and only the truth, some of the worst evils of our age would be greatly diminished, if not wholly reformed.
But it must not be forgotten that Christ insisted upon kindness as positively as upon truthfulness. To sacrifice the former for the latter is as wicked as to neglect the latter for the sake of the former. But, in point of fact, it is not necessary to sacrifice either on account of the other. They are entirely and always mutually consistent. By "speaking truth in love," as the apostle expressed it in his letter to the Ephesians, the claims of accuracy and kindness both are honored. Love shows itself unmistakably in our tones and manner of speech. It does not tamper with truth. It neither prevaricates, nor omits anything which ought in honor to be mentioned. Sometimes it speaks with severity and in rebuke. But the good-will which is beneath and behind it always is evident. It has no tone of bitterness nor any, even the faintest, accent of Pharisaic exultation.
It always commands respect, therefore, and usually it wins regard also. Mere truthfulness does not necessarily secure either, for its possible harshness is too revolting. But the truth spoken in love always has a certain winsomeness, no matter how reluctantly we listen to it; and it is always spiritually helpful in recollection, if not in its immediate impression. To speak the truth merely, may be to throw away good influence and to repel others from the standards of life which we desire them to accept. But to speak the truth in love, is very likely to win both for ourselves, and for the truth, the respect and affection which are desired.—Congregationalist.